Children in the dark make mistakes Mistakes in the dark make children
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Sometimes, I think back on all the mistakes I've ever made.
Then I realize "My daughter isn't THAT bad..."
Guys don’t put the Holocaust books in the fiction section it was the worst mistake of my life!
Someone asked me what the worst mistake you could make while bieng at work was and i replied " being a doctor and mixing up the oral and rectal thermometers"
Every time I go to the store I look in the deodorant section and my dyslexia acts up. Instead of "antiperspirant," I read "antidepressant." At least I get a bunch of extra snacks out of my shopping mistakes
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like
jack and jill went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter
Stephen Hawking’s death was purely accidental. He clicked “shut-down” instead of “sleep”.
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”
I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
Child: *drinking milk*
Farmer: hey, what are you doing?
Child: oh I just milked one of your cows
Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls
Child: *realizes*
When you accidentally turn in your suicide note instead of your essay to the teacher, but she still gives you an A
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? -- It was a grave mistake.
Teacher:"What is the opposite of the following sentence: 'Children in the dark make mistakes'?" Student:"Mistakes in the dark make children"
nobody notices your pain, tears, struggles, but why notice your mistakes?
Don’t mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.
Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
guy spills milk on a me i say " it's OK we all make mistakes sometimes but apparently your mom made a big one
