Short jokes
For all the people with Covid-19, I just want to say... Stay positive.
I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.
What do you call an Indian electrician?
Ashok 😂
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
All they said was, "Bach, Bach, Bach..."
What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire? Utter destruction.
I asked my friend if he would take a bullet for the last person he slept with.
He said hell yeah, I'd do anything for my sister!
Women: “Men used to go to war, now they go to clubs.”
Men: “Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked, now it’s $3.99.”
Autistic jokes have been very popular recently. In other words, I've been very popular recently.
Why do Nazis not wear necklaces, rings, and bracelets? Because they hate jewelry.
Why was baptism invented?
How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys?
You gotta give it to JD Vance. He is consistent; he is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
Well, somebody has to cushion the blow.
How did the Shaggy defense become successful for JD Vance?
He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!
People be like: "What happened to Fruit Ninja? It was on your phone."
Me: "I upgraded, now I can play on my pro max thigh/wrists."
What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?
They both have plastic in them.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
"Windows 10 shutting down."
Why did the boy throw the clock out the window?
He wanted to see time fly.
How do you make an emo jump?
A cliff.
An orphan's first word would be "orphan keeper."
What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
A meltdown.