Short jokes
How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.
What makes sad people jump? A bridge.
He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.
Be careful around EDP445.
If Jesus was real, they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion. They would call it crucifact.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.
Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.
“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”
I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.
John Lennon: "What a nice view."
John walked outside.
He got shot.
:skull:
Why did the feminist fail algebra?
She couldn’t solve inequalities.
Enough with the Nazi jokes.
They make me führeious!
When you feel lonely, just watch a scary movie.
You won't feel lonely anymore :(
I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"
Nah c'mon guys, we don't let jokes like this fly around here.
What is six inches, has nuts, and is hard?
A sinkers bar.
I'm not saying you're inbred. I'm just saying you're a textbook example of why consanguineous marriage might not be the best idea.
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.
The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.
Why are Egyptian gods orphans?
Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a new bus) every year to make a prophet.
Q: Why can't orphans be on a football team?
A: Because they won't know where to go on a home game.