I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"
Short Jokes
Nah c'mon guys, we don't let jokes like this fly around here.
What is six inches, has nuts, and is hard?
A sinkers bar.
Why did Joe Biden visit Hiroshima? Because the city has the hottest prepubescent girls in the world.
Someone who was working in the tower must've put their phone on plane mode.
I'm not saying you're inbred. I'm just saying you're a textbook example of why consanguineous marriage might not be the best idea.
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.
The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.
Why are Egyptian gods orphans?
Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a new bus) every year to make a prophet.
Q: What comes before 47?
A: AK
Why do orphans support slavery?
They finally have an owner.
Q: Why can't orphans be on a football team?
A: Because they won't know where to go on a home game.
"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying."
- Charlie Chaplin
There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.
Dad: School is canceled, I think your teacher died or something.
Me: Wow, they found the body already?
Dad: :/
What's the difference between an escaped prisoner and an orphan?
Only one is wanted.
I like my men like I like my whiskey: Irish and put in a barrel for 2 years with barely any oxygen.
What cow can part water? Mooses.
Sleep, but make it forever.
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!
