Rain jokes
Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
"Our souls will rain forever."
John: Hi, boss, it is raining heavily today, so I will not be coming.
Boss: You stated in your job application that swimming was your hobby, so see you at 11 AM.
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain. "Quick, let's swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!"
ALL ASIANS
What is the New York fireman's favorite song?
It's raining men.
"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying."
- Charlie Chaplin
Yo mama's so short, when it rains, she's the last to know!
Why do women have no need for umbrellas? Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen.
My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."
Willy found some dynamite,
couldn't understand it quite.
Curiosity never pays;
It rained Willy seven days.
What is Osama bin Laden and his al-Qaeda organization's favorite song?
It's raining planes! Hallelujah!
Your mama is so skinny she can dodge raindrops.
Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.
What does a rain cloud wear under her dress?
Thunderwear.
You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.
What is wet going up and wet going down but doesn't move?
A mountain!
hehehehehehehehehehe
So a guy gets a motorcycle with authentic leather seats, and the dealer tells him, "Dude, the rain will ruin the seats. Get it under something if it starts raining, and worst-case scenario, put Vaseline all over the seats to make it waterproof." So he goes to his girlfriend's house that night for dinner, and before he goes inside, she says, "Listen, this is your first time meeting my parents. We have a rule: the first one to speak has to do the dishes." So he walks inside and sees a mountain of dishes, over three months' worth, because no one has spoken, and the stench is awful.
During dinner, he concocted a plan to get someone to speak, so he started doing all of this crazy shit to try and get someone to speak. Not a peep. Eventually, he grabs his girlfriend, bends her over, and starts going to town. Still nothing. The parents are outraged but not speaking because they don't want to do the dishes. After about a minute of this, he walks away and does the same to her mum and starts going to town. Now the dad is pissed and just staring him down with daggers. At that moment, it starts to rain. He remembers his motorcycle is out in the rain, and he grabs the Vaseline out of his pack pocket, and the dad goes, "FINE! I'LL DO THE DISHES!"
The first child, Daisy, asks her mother why she is named Daisy. The mother said, "That's because a daisy fell on your head when you were born."
The second child, Raindrop, asked why he is named Raindrop, and the mother said, "That's because a drop of rain fell on your head when you were born."
Then the third child, Cinderblock, said, "fxg,kxf dsdsvtg,hjer,btjh,rbtsvikvsdtxde43f."
What does a storm cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear.