John: Hi, boss, it is raining heavily today, so I will not be coming.
Boss: You stated in your job application that swimming was your hobby, so see you at 11 AM.
Rain Jokes
Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.
"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Suzie, looking out of the kitchen window.
"I know," said her mother, "I've just stepped in a poodle!"
What is the New York fireman's favorite song?
It's raining men.
"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying."
- Charlie Chaplin
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain. "Quick, let's swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!"
When does it rain money?
When there's a change in the weather.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
"Our souls will rain forever."
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
Can bees fly in the rain?
Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!
In India, whoever lives facing the roadside, this is for them.
Whenever it starts raining heavily, our homes turn into pool-facing homes because the roads disappear.
So a guy gets a motorcycle with authentic leather seats, and the dealer tells him, "Dude, the rain will ruin the seats. Get it under something if it starts raining, and worst-case scenario, put Vaseline all over the seats to make it waterproof." So he goes to his girlfriend's house that night for dinner, and before he goes inside, she says, "Listen, this is your first time meeting my parents. We have a rule: the first one to speak has to do the dishes." So he walks inside and sees a mountain of dishes, over three months' worth, because no one has spoken, and the stench is awful.
During dinner, he concocted a plan to get someone to speak, so he started doing all of this crazy shit to try and get someone to speak. Not a peep. Eventually, he grabs his girlfriend, bends her over, and starts going to town. Still nothing. The parents are outraged but not speaking because they don't want to do the dishes. After about a minute of this, he walks away and does the same to her mum and starts going to town. Now the dad is pissed and just staring him down with daggers. At that moment, it starts to rain. He remembers his motorcycle is out in the rain, and he grabs the Vaseline out of his pack pocket, and the dad goes, "FINE! I'LL DO THE DISHES!"
You're like a cloud. When you go away, it's a beautiful day.
It's been raining for days. My wife is totally depressed. She keeps looking through the window. If this keeps up, I'll have to let her in.
I can explain Superman and Batman movies in one sentence.
Two orphans fighting in the rain.
Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.
Where did Noah keep his bees? -- In the ark hives.
"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
Why was the sun ☀️ mad at the clouds ☁️?
Because the clouds kept throwing shade.
Your forehead is so big you can smoke a cigar in the rain.
