Short jokes
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
What do Princess Diana and the Beatles have in common?
They both made quite an impact in Europe.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there? Control Freak. Con… OK, now you say, “Control Freak who?”
Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?
Little Johnny: "Your wife."
What do you call an army of autistic people?
Special forces!
Why did the orphan die?
He killed himself because the lack of a support system made him depressed.
I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.
Which animal is the least trustworthy?
What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?
The subway guy didn’t get away with it...
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off!
Do you know why I don't like stairs? They are always up to something. #dadjokes
What hairstyle do horses like best while reading a story?
Pony-tails.
What's the most emo name?
Carter.
What’s a rapper’s favorite type of fishing?
Catching BIG BASS.
Your chest is flatter than pre-Aristotle's concept of Earth.
What do Ethiopian people have better than Australians?
Internet.
Did you hear about the guy that posts all of the "Hairline Jokes"?
Answer: Yeah, he's a COMPLETE IDIOT!
When I look in your eyes, I always see something: my reflection. 😂
Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
This dwarf was being mean to me, so I said, "When you get home, I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you."