Short jokes
"Oh daddy," the kid said. "I love you so much!"
"Hey," the man responded. "Until we get the DNA test results, I'm just Harry to you!"
I spy with my little eye nothing because I only have two normal-sized eyes.
I'm not looking for consent, I'm looking for cooperation!
Why can't college students take exams at the zoo?
Too many cheetahs!
What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
"It's pasture bed time."
My nickname should be night light... because kids turn me on...
Son: Dad, do you remember your first blowjob?
Dad: Ohhh yeah, I do!
Son: How did it taste?
Dad: Get out.
What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.
Moms have Mother's Day and dads have Father's Day. What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.
PP almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said, "Just put it in."
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.
What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?
Special forces.
Btw, I'm 13.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. We're gonna make love because I'm stronger than you.
Name something you practiced kissing on as a kid.
Sister. SWEET HOME ALABAMA!
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?
You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.
The British equivalent to 9/11 would be a big red bus crashing into Big Ben.
What does your mum and Istanbul have in common?
They are all insane comebacks!!!
Sunday was a sad day, but yesterday was a sadder day.
I got a pen for my baby sister. Best trade I made so far.