Short jokes

So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.

He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.

Imagine if this got over 69 likes! Wow! 🤩 🇫🇷

Son: Dad, do you remember your first blowjob?

Dad: Ohhh yeah, I do!

Son: How did it taste?

Dad: Get out.

Why are white teenagers the best for the army? They are good at shooting things up.

What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?

Special forces.

Btw, I'm 13.

A cop pulled me over and shouted, "Papers!" I shouted, "Scissors!" and drove off.

My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

Why can't Stephen Hawking be a Rocket League car? Because he can't jump for an aerial.

Titanic - "Yo, look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, let's hit her!"

Better call NASA and tell them there are only going to be 7 planets after I destroy URANUS.

What was the favorite game in 2001? Flight simulator.

I told kids to make a family tree. God, I love working at the orphanages.

My uncle and I have somewhat of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.

I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.

While undressing a woman, she told me she has AIDS. I told her she can't catch it twice, but she still kept screaming.

Yo mama so ugly when her parents had a gender reveal party the balloon came out green.

What’s the difference between emos and Hitler?

Hitler didn’t post on social media when he wanted to kill himself.

"Oh daddy," the kid said. "I love you so much!"

"Hey," the man responded. "Until we get the DNA test results, I'm just Harry to you!"

"I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you’re really abusing that privilege."

Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.