Short jokes
[Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"
[Me]: "When I what?" 0-0
My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.
I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest, tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life. Then when I woke up, my wife was gone.
Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?
He never learned to mix the colors.
My kids found me in the family tree. I was hanging there for hours.
You know the difference between me and a zebra? Me neither.
I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.
What does Michael Jackson do with his meat? "Just beat it". His song btw lol.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Nah c'mon guys, we don't let jokes like this fly around here.
What do you call a sneaky child molester?
Incogpedo.
What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?
Speed humps.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RCXD (remote control explosive).
You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?
Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.
"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"
Why did the slave go to college?
To get his master's degree.
Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?
So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
You know what I saw today?
Everything I looked at.
One hat told another hat to stay behind, and he will go on a-head.
Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar?
Because he lost May!