Short jokes
Person 1: Hey, did you hear about the circus fire?
Person 2: No.
Person 1: It was in-tents.
From now on, we’re gonna call shitting the bed an “Amber Alert.”
What's a cow's favorite thing?
A mooooovie.
What happens to emo kids when they go up?
They never come down.
I would make a joke about short people, but they probably couldn't hear it.
What do you call a fish with no legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Break!
Why did the people get a chicken?
To make eggs.
You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as "grandpa."
What does an Emo kid and Ted Bundy have in common?
They're both gay and use knives.
I have special needs, and I was born with it.
Me: I fucked your mom.
Orphan: I don't have a mom so you fucked the air.
Sully: Praised after landing in the Hudson River.
Garuda Indonesia 421:
Sully's co-pilot:
I told people your mom is also known as "MBD" because you're a mega baby dispenser.
What constellation has no hair at all?
Cancer.
Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.
Why did Jesus play football?
He was Spanish, ayo.
Your hairline go so far back it remember the Civil War, ugly ahh.
Why does a cow love music?
Because it can play a moo-sical instrument.
What do you call One Direction converted to Islam?
Al-Qaedirection
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his son wanted to charge their phone, so they unplugged him.