Short jokes
What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?
America's funniest home videos.
Are you an orphanage?
Why?
Because I wanna put my kids in you.
What's the difference between Paul Walker's car and a petite white girl?
There is no difference.
They both got split open by a huge log.
"Just say no to drugs!"
Well, if I'm talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes.
What happens when you make an asían girl squirt?
She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.
My dad just comes and goes.
I named my horse Mayo.
Mayo neighs.
My wife wanted a present that could go from zero to 80 very quickly.
So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.
What do you call a skeleton who went out in the snow? A numb skull!
Why is the thief so good at basketball? Because he can shoot, steal, and run.
So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.
He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.
My midget landlord told me to pack my things up and that I've got 30 minutes to get out. That's short notice!
Imagine if this got over 69 likes! Wow! 🤩 🇫🇷
Why are white teenagers the best for the army? They are good at shooting things up.
I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a Rocket League car? Because he can't jump for an aerial.
Titanic - "Yo, look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, let's hit her!"
When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself... #victoryroyale
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.