Short jokes
A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.
"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"
What does Michael Jackson do with his meat? "Just beat it". His song btw lol.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
[Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"
[Me]: "When I what?" 0-0
I don't struggle with depression, I'm used to it.
What did the taco say to the Sea Turtle? I like your shell!
You know the difference between me and a zebra? Me neither.
Roses are red, your cities are gone, I am Thomas the thermonuclear bomb.
Why did the orphan like to jump? So they can jump off a bridge to be reunited with their parents.
1 like = 10 more orphans in my basement.
What do the films The Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RCXD (remote control explosive).
You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?
Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.
I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.
My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.
Until I threw a watermelon in her face.
I groomed 2 minors today.
Nah c'mon guys, we don't let jokes like this fly around here.
What did Michael Jackson say to the child sitting on him?
“Just beat it! Just beat it!”
When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.
Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar?
Because he lost May!