Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
If Jesus was real they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion.
They would call it crucifact.
Crucifixion was the first T-pose
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
Whats the difference between a Hooker and Jesus? Their face when you nail them!
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not!! He got nailed before he died.
I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings didn’t Jesus have four
What's the difference between a painting and jesus?
A painting only needs one nail.
Jesus tried solving the rubik cube but died on the cross
Did jeasus die a virgin Of course not he got nailed before he died!
So Jesus has been nailed to the cross. On the first day, he starts to moan, "Peter, Peter".
Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.
On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, "Peter, Peter".
Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.
On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, "Peter, Peter".
Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for, must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus, and says "Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important"?
Jesus- "Peter, I can see your house from here".
What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross? Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter Vacation.
Jesus was a carpenter who got nailed to a piece of wood
Jesus was being hug up on the cross, and me and all the other people at the bottom of the hill were watching. Jesus cries out ''Peter, peter come to me!'' So I climb up the hill on my hands and knees, and when i reach the top the Romans cut of my arms and chuck me back down the hill. ''Peter, peter come to me!'' cries Jesus once more. I stumble up the hill then the Romans cut my legs of and threw me back down. For the third time Jesus cries ''Peter peter come to me!''. So i wriggle up the hill and I guess the romans pitied me and let me through. ''Look peter, I can see my house from here!''
