What's the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
Jesus walks into a motel, throws 3 nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for a night?"
If Jesus was real, they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion. They would call it crucifact.
Crucifixion was the first T-pose.
Are you Jesus? Because I want to nail you.
Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?
Because he has holes in his feet.
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
What's the difference between a hooker and Jesus?
Their face when you nail them!
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not! He got nailed before he died.
I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings. Didn’t Jesus have four?
What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The look on their face when you're nailing them.
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
You’ll only need a single nail to hang the picture frame up.
Why can't Jesus judge gay people?
He got nailed right before he died.
Why is Jesus in pieces?
Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.
What's the difference between a painting and jesus?
A painting only needs one nail.
What did Jesus say when they removed the nails from his hands?
"Feet! Feet!"
Jesus tried solving the Rubik's cube,
but died on the cross.
What's the difference between Jesus and a holy whore?
Jesus got pegged against a cross.
