Crucifixion jokes
Crucifixion was the first T-pose.
Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"
If Jesus was real, they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion. They would call it crucifact.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.
Why was Jesus Christ cut from the hockey team?
He kept getting nailed to the boards.
What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?
"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, you idiot. He got nailed before he died!
What’s the difference between Jesus and a plank of wood?
A plank of wood can take nails to the extremities without screaming.
What did Jesus say when they removed the nails from his hands?
"Feet! Feet!"
Jesus was a carpenter who got nailed to a piece of wood.
What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus?
The picture only takes one nail to hang.
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
They'll fall right through his hands.
Did Jesus cut his nails?
No! His nails cut through him.
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.
What was Jesus's favorite food?
Answer: Snails
What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus? It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture.
Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
What's the difference between a hooker and Jesus?
Their face when you nail them!
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not! He got nailed before he died.