Crucifixion

Crucifixion Jokes

Jesus

What's the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

Guy

Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.

  • 6
  • Jesus

    Jesus walks into a motel, throws 3 nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for a night?"

    Fact

    If Jesus was real, they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion. They would call it crucifact.

    Memes

    Jesus

    Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?

    Because he has holes in his feet.

    Jesus

    What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?

    "Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."

  • 0
  • Nail

    What's the difference between a hooker and Jesus?

    Their face when you nail them!

    Jesus

    What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

    It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

  • 3
  • Christian

    I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings. Didn’t Jesus have four?

    Jesus

    Did Jesus die a virgin?

    Of course not! He got nailed before he died.

  • 7
  • Difference

    What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?

    The look on their face when you're nailing them.

  • 8
  • Jesus

    What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?

    You’ll only need a single nail to hang the picture frame up.

    Jesus

    Why can't Jesus judge gay people?

    He got nailed right before he died.

    Nail

    What's the difference between Jesus and a picture frame?

    It only takes one nail to hang a picture frame.

  • 3
  • Jesus

    Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?

    Priest: Why?

    Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.

  • 1
  • Jesus

    What's the difference between a painting and Jesus?

    A painting only needs one nail.

    Jesus

    What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?

    Depends on who's sucking.