Short jokes
What's meaner than taking candy from a baby?
Throwing the baby off a cliff.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
How do you eat a meat?
You steak it in your mouth.
What’s the relationship between a pedophile and a light bulb? They're both meant for dark rooms.
Donald Trump is still the president, even after the government has been shut down.
Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's because God created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes.
What did the make-a-wish kid say when the Avengers turn up without Tony Stark?
"We are in the endgame now!"
Stephen Hawking said God isn’t real, and the Priest put a boot on his tire. 😂😂😂
What weapon does a fat Jedi use?
A heavy saber.
What did the girl say to the white guy? “You have a peener wiener!”
You know where I get my soda? Mini-soda.
Fruit is like ex-wives.
They both look really good hanging from a tree.
Hands down, syndromes are bad.
I have something on my lip and I think I’m taller than you.
"Who am I?"
Have you ever said no? Did they keep going?
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?
What’s the difference between a Canadian and a unicorn?
Nothing, they’re both mythical creatures.
How did the blind girl get a date?
She said it was love at first sight.
What do you say to a pig with no nose? You have n'ought a snout!