Short jokes
I am the worst joke ever. Get it? My whole life is a joke.
What is the craziest thing an Indian man does for sex?
Marriage.
Emos are weird to me because they dress up all black, and you know I don't like that, so that's why I don't like it.
How do you put a baby alien to sleep?
You rocket. 🚀🚀🚀
Day 70 without sex, my doctor asked me, "Are you sexually active?" I said, "Why, what you tryna do?"
I went to a 90 minute prostitute once. She was a whore and a half, I tell ya!
What do 9/11 and COVID-19 have in common?
I couldn't give a fuck about either.
Jack and Jill went up my ass to eat a big dildo, but Jack died cause he got hit by a brown thing.
Why is Stephen Hawking an organ donor?
Because he saved 200 computers!
What's white, red, blue, and brown all over?
The American flag I used to wipe my ass with.
Ukraine.
Yeah man, you watch Pornhub, and you have premium too, but at least I don't need Premium to see your mom in bed.
What do rapists like to suck?
The life out of their victim.
Zion is so fat that his dick can't even fit in his wife's pussy.
If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.
That one really *crashed and burned*.
You're an orphan and blind. You have cancer. You will die in 3 days. Merry Xmas!
Orphan: I'm an orphan.
Technoblade: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
Your hairline is so bad when I looked at you, I had to use accessibility.
Russians be like: "bfddrhnnkhsaxbjk speak English!"
Elementary school kids: School is fun.
Me: Yeah, yeah, just keep believing that.