Band jokes
What kind of band never plays music?
I started an emo salsa band. We're called Hispanic at the Disco.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
Do you like Imagine Dragons?
Imagine draggin' my balls on your face.
I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"
And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"
why the fuck is steam there ????
What is an emo kid's favorite Tool? A rope.
What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!
What instrument do skeletons play?
The Trombone!
My favorite instrument? The TromBONE, of course.
You're so ugly that when The Oh Hellos saw you, they were like "Oh Bye!"
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.
You need to play a B flat, not a C sharp, you just got band!
What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?
The Jackson 4.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
After sleeping with her boyfriend for the first time, the lead singer of Blackbriar told her friend all about it: "Ik zora cock!"
What's got 9 arms and sucks?
Def Leppard.
What concert only costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
What do monkeys and gorillas love to listen to?
The Monkees and Gorillaz.
People's music when friends are around: *rock*
When they are gone: "Come on, vamanos, everybody let's go!"