“I had a great day today.” “Why?” “Because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table and the teacher screamed, ‘Allison how would you like it if I banged you on the table?’”

How do you count cows? – With a cowculator.

Here’s a trick I learned to do on the calculator

Sally had 69 boobs (69) which was too too too many (69222) so she went to the the doctor on 51st street (6922251) and he said to take a certain pill 8 times a day (6922251 times 8), which left her (flip your calculator over)


I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have.

Your Momma’s so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.

How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?


How do trees calculate square roots. They use log-arithms.

Trust your calculator. It’s something to count on.

Type this in your calculator: 5 days a week (type in 5), 6 different classes (type in 6), 7 hours a day (type in 7), x 2 semesters (type in 2),

flip the calculator over ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

There was (1) girl. She met (+5000) guys. She had sex with each of them (x7). She became… - flip screen (=).

I remember having a crush on my math teacher so i winked at her and said “dont worry babe, ill callculater.”

666 + 420 + 911 + 21 = ?

Do it in calculator

The boobs was funny tbh… But the last was rude

59009 filp it backwards on ur calculator…it =…boobs!

I tried to calculate 3/(my life) and I kept getting zero

mrs.mallaras boobs where (69) pounds she said that was to to to much(69222) so she went to 51st street (6922251) to visit doctor x (6922251 x) and the surgery lasted 8 hours (6922251 x 8) she ended up (the total flipped upside down spells boobless) (=)55378008

Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad’s car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun

why is calculus called calc? because you need a calculator. lol


Flip 1134 over on a calculator.

Happy holidays.