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“I had a great day today.” “Why?” “Because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table and the teacher screamed, ‘Allison how would you like it if I banged you on the table?’”

I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have.

How do trees calculate square roots. They use log-arithms.

How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?

Calculator!

Here’s a trick I learned to do on the calculator

Sally had 69 boobs (69) which was too too too many (69222) so she went to the the doctor on 51st street (6922251) and he said to take a certain pill 8 times a day (6922251 times 8), which left her (flip your calculator over)

Boobless

Trust your calculator. It’s something to count on.

666 + 420 + 911 + 21 = ?

Do it in calculator

59009 filp it backwards on ur calculator…it =…boobs!

Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad’s car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun

There was (1) girl. She met (+5000) guys. She had sex with each of them (x7). She became… - flip screen (=).

I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me. She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand. Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys I asked and she said that’s my fam as well I noticed an Alabama drivers license I asked where which one was her dad she said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter I casually asked what he did for work self employed she said That’s the last time I use ancestry.com

timmy has 5 apples,

his train is 7 minutes early

calculate the mass of the sun