Calculator Jokes

That one dude

"I had a great day today." "Why?" "Because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table and the teacher screamed, 'Allison how would you like it if I banged you on the table?'"

9
Anonymous
in Animal

How do you count cows? -- With a cowculator.

7
Anonymous

Here’s a trick I learned to do on the calculator

Sally had 69 boobs (69) which was too too too many (69222) so she went to the the doctor on 51st street (6922251) and he said to take a certain pill 8 times a day (6922251 times 8), which left her (flip your calculator over)

Boobless

Anonymous
in Puns

Trust your calculator. It's something to count on.

Anonymous
in Math

How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?

Calculator!

1
Anonymous
in Stupid jokes

I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have.

1
W.H.
in Puns

How do trees calculate square roots. They use log-arithms.

Ruthra

- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop - Right. So you weight yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool. - Oh..that might actually be even easier

Anonymous
in Computer

Your Momma's so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.

Anonymous

Trust your calculator. It's something to count on.

WAS UP

a girl tried 77.34 (77.34) times to think of a word oppisite word of BYE.then her brother divided the word BYE. 77.34 divided by 100. TRY IT!!

Anonymous

I Don't like calculator jokes cause thay are to overused

Lovely perv

THERES this smart way to sneak a calculator into scholl I’ve heard of you take the calculator put it in a gun magazine put the magazine in the gun and bring the gun to school

Anonymous

What did the calculator say to the student? You can always count on me.

i change my name a lot ;)

bobby had 54 dicks (54) he took 33 pills a month (5433) once he ran out of pills, he was left with 45 dicks (543345) (flip the calculator once you got the full number. 543345! he's got a lot!

Anonymous

get a calculator. ok anyways sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs)and her friend said it was 222 many,she got caught by the police and was taken to 51 street.she got arrested for x8 days,so she was BOOBLESS

Jimmy's Father

Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun

7
Anonymous

Sally had (69) boobs witch was (2,2,2) many (69222)so she went to the doctor on (51)st street ( 6922251) whom gave her pills she took (x8) times a day and now she is boobless

Panda

There was (1) girl. She met (+5000) guys. She had sex with each of them (x7). She became... - flip screen (=).

Anonymous
in Depression

I tried to calculate 3/(my life) and I kept getting zero