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“I had a great day today.” “Why?” “Because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table and the teacher screamed, ‘Allison how would you like it if I banged you on the table?’”

I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have.

How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?

Calculator!

There was a woman named sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed she her bra size was 69 (+69). That is f...ing big! Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.

69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 55378008 (flip calculator)

Boobless.

How do trees calculate square roots. They use log-arithms.

Here’s a trick I learned to do on the calculator

Sally had 69 boobs (69) which was too too too many (69222) so she went to the the doctor on 51st street (6922251) and he said to take a certain pill 8 times a day (6922251 times 8), which left her (flip your calculator over)

Boobless

Trust your calculator. It’s something to count on.

666 + 420 + 911 + 21 = ?

Do it in calculator

Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad’s car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun

Calculate my dick, virgins

59009 filp it backwards on ur calculator…it =…boobs!

I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me. She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand. Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys I asked and she said that’s my fam as well I noticed an Alabama drivers license I asked where which one was her dad she said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter I casually asked what he did for work self employed she said That’s the last time I use ancestry.com

There was (1) girl. She met (+5000) guys. She had sex with each of them (x7). She became… - flip screen (=).

timmy has 5 apples,

his train is 7 minutes early

calculate the mass of the sun