# Table

That one dude

“I had a great day today.” “Why?” “Because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table and the teacher screamed, ‘Allison how would you like it if I banged you on the table?’”

# Animal

Anonymous

How do you count cows? – With a cowculator.

# Sally

Anonymous

Here’s a trick I learned to do on the calculator

Sally had 69 boobs (69) which was too too too many (69222) so she went to the the doctor on 51st street (6922251) and he said to take a certain pill 8 times a day (6922251 times 8), which left her (flip your calculator over)

Boobless

# Math

Anonymous

How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?

Calculator!

# Puns

Anonymous

Trust your calculator. It’s something to count on.

# Stupid jokes

Anonymous

I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have.

# Puns

W.H.

How do trees calculate square roots. They use log-arithms.

# Computer

Anonymous

Your Momma’s so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.

# Car

Jimmy's Father

Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad’s car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun

# Girl

Panda

There was (1) girl. She met (+5000) guys. She had sex with each of them (x7). She became… - flip screen (=).

# Remembering

Anonymous

I remember having a crush on my math teacher so i winked at her and said “dont worry babe, ill callculater.”

Anonymous

si papi

# Funny

Pnes

The boobs was funny tbh… But the last was rude

# Backwardness

Anonymous

59009 filp it backwards on ur calculator…it =…boobs!

# Girl

WAS UP

a girl tried 77.34 (77.34) times to think of a word oppisite word of BYE.then her brother divided the word BYE. 77.34 divided by 100. TRY IT!!

# 911

Jon Richards

666 + 420 + 911 + 21 = ?

Do it in calculator

# Girlfriend

Anonymous

I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me. She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand. Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys I asked and she said that’s my fam as well I noticed an Alabama drivers license I asked where which one was her dad she said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter I casually asked what he did for work self employed she said That’s the last time I use ancestry.com

# Depression

Anonymous

I tried to calculate 3/(my life) and I kept getting zero

person

lent

# Happiness

Fony

Flip 1134 over on a calculator.

Happy holidays.