Calculator Jokes

That one dude

“I had a great day today.” “Why?” “Because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table and the teacher screamed, ‘Allison how would you like it if I banged you on the table?’”

8
Anonymous
in Animal

How do you count cows? – With a cowculator.

5
Anonymous
in Puns

Trust your calculator. It’s something to count on.

Anonymous
in Math

How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?

Calculator!

1
Anonymous

Here’s a trick I learned to do on the calculator

Sally had 69 boobs (69) which was too too too many (69222) so she went to the the doctor on 51st street (6922251) and he said to take a certain pill 8 times a day (6922251 times 8), which left her (flip your calculator over)

Boobless

Anonymous
in Stupid jokes

I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have.

1
Anonymous

What did the calculator say to the student? You can always count on me.

W.H.
in Puns

How do trees calculate square roots. They use log-arithms.

Ruthra
  • Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop
  • Right. So you weight yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.
  • Oh…that might actually be even easier
Anonymous

I Don’t like calculator jokes cause thay are to overused

Anonymous
in Computer

Your Momma’s so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.

Anonymous

walks into a comedy night club Owner: You’re doing standup tonight right?* Noob Joker (you): Yes I am! Owner: Get onto the stage Me: walks up stage Owner: this is the standup comedian noobpro Me: HEY GUYS HOW ABOUT SOME DONALD TRUMP Crowd: RUNS

WAS UP

a girl tried 77.34 (77.34) times to think of a word oppisite word of BYE.then her brother divided the word BYE. 77.34 divided by 100. TRY IT!!

Panda

There was (1) girl. She met (+5000) guys. She had sex with each of them (x7). She became… - flip screen (=).

Jimmy's Father

Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad’s car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun

6
Anonymous

I remember having a crush on my math teacher so i winked at her and said “dont worry babe, ill callculater.”

Anonymous

si papi

Pnes

The boobs was funny tbh… But the last was rude

Jon Richards

666 + 420 + 911 + 21 = ?

Do it in calculator

5
Fony

Flip 1134 over on a calculator.

Happy holidays.