Short jokes
One day I went to my friend's apartment, and he told me to make myself at home.
I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors!
Had an amazing night with this girl, woke up, and it was my aunt. Now I’m in love.
What are Africans composed of?
99% Coca-Cola.
What’s the difference between Rosa Parks and Muhammad Ali?
One fought for freedom, the other fought for fun.
Why do they call matches, matches?
They all look the same.
Why don’t orphans play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
What’s the worst thing about having a wife with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.
What do you call a peso?
A wetback greenback.
What do you get when a topless blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a topless brunette?
Your camera.
What is worse than seeing your sibling drown?
Getting the water bill.
Why didn't Michael Jackson have a girlfriend? He's afraid of women.
Something you can say about a restaurant, but not your partner:
"So you’re open 24 hours a day?"
My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.
I know how to cut down on Medicare expenses.
Lock Alzheimer's patients in dog cages when they misbehave.
Why can't fat kids play poker?
They eat all the chips.
What do you call a midget stripper?
A pocket pussy.
Why should you put an autistic person in a refrigerator?
Because otherwise you’ll get a rotten vegetable.
(Not meant to be triggering).
"The dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife, but his wife said no, so he fucked his daughter."
Diddy and Hawk Tuah walk into a bar. Hawk Tuah says, "Spit on that thang!" Only one walks out. 💀