Short jokes
Yo mamma is so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.
I fucking hate school, god damn!
I am gay, is that ok?
I be on top sucking dick all day. I make him bust every day.
Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?
Smoking will kill you.
Bacon will kill you.
But, smoking bacon will cure it!
I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?
Got kidnapped in Iran. Luckily, I ran.
You know I would tell you a 9/11 joke, but it just doesn’t hit the spot.
A boy went to a genie and said, "I want to be like Batman."
He went home, his parents weren't there.
Why can't orphans watch PG movies? Parental guidance.
What do emo kids have in common with orphans?
They both depress'd on the inside.
Why do the orphans fuck in their cars?
Because they don't know what a home is.
You're so emo, even Billie Eilish can't beat you!
What is Johnny Depp's new legal name?
Johnny in debt.
Your forehead is so big that your name is Humpty Dumpty, the big forehead!
My Dad: Son, history always repeats itself.
Me: So you're gonna leave me again?
Why is 4/20 such an epic date?
Because it's weed day, Columbine, AND Hitler's birthday;)
Hey kids, are you ready for Faptisim?
You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as "grandpa."
The only woman to ever tell you that they loved you was your mom. (If she even loved you in the first place.)