Player

Player Jokes

Video Game

I made a video game about a depressed, self-harming goth.

It's mostly unskippable cutscenes though... :/

MVP

MVP means: “Most Valuable Player.”

In Chuck Norris' case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.

Predator

A lion, Johnny Depp, and a hockey player from Nashville all have one thing in common.

They're all Predators!

Penaldo

Once I went to watch a match in Portugal. It was between Penaldo and his kids. The referee was Georgiana (his wife). Mpaypal and Igayspeed were also there. The match began, and his kids scored two goals in the first 10 minutes. Then, when the match was about to end, Penaldo got angry and asked his wife for penalties. His wife declined, and he tortured and beat her up and took 10 penalties (missed 7 of them) but won 3-2. Shame on you, Penaldo! 😡😡😡

Orphan

The orphan was playing baseball. He hit a home run. His coach told him to run home. He couldn't find it.

Hockey Player

What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? The hockey player showers after 3 periods.

  • 0
  • Game

    I wanted to play as Kobe in my console, but the game crashed.

  • 3
  • Genie

    A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1-foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a beer, and says, “Man, how’d you get such a short piano player?” The bartender says in response, “There’s a genie in the back of the bar.” The man finishes his beer and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says, “I wish for a million bucks.” Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says, “What just happened?” The bartender replies, “The genie is half deaf, do you really think I’d ask for a 12-inch pianist?”

  • 3
  • Football Player

    How do you know when a football player has been to jail?

    When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.

    Road

    Why did the Xbox player cross the road? To render in the buildings.

    Penaldo

    I was playing football with my friends, and I got tackled and got a penalty. Suddenly, the ground started shaking, and Penaldo emerged from the mud. He took the penalty, but since it wasn't Andorra, he missed. Shame on you, Penaldo!