Short jokes

How come orphans know how to do laundry?

Cause that's usually the mom's job.

You're built like a double cheeseburger.

A joker gives Batman a coupon for new parents. It's expired.

I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, because I need new parts for my go-kart.

AB💿

I am like mushrooms. Nobody likes me, but everybody tolerates me.

What do a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?

We're all empty on the inside.

Yo momma is so stupid, she eats cardboard boxes thinking they're chocolate bars.

Doctor: You should stop masturbating.

Me: Doc, I'm almost done.

When the emo kid says let’s play truth or dare, You know it’s about to hang over.

What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?

Names.

Global warming is the average of temperature on Earth.

Hey Sandy.

You call it death. I call it peace and quiet.

Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?

So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t find home.

What’s the difference between candy and an orphan?

Candy is something everybody wants.

What do you call a duck that can fix anything? Duck tape.

Have you watched the show "Naked and Afraid"? Well, I play it every Saturday with my uncle.

Innit.