Short jokes
I like peanut butter and honey.
I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"
Where did Sally go during the summer? Swimming.
Life has ups and downs, and they had downs.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
He got ran over by a bus.
One of the students reported a school shooting.
That fucking snitch...
Q: What do you call a skeleton that goes to school but doesn't do any work?
A: Lazy bones.
What do dogs do when they lose their tail?
They go to the retail store.
A chicken walks into a bar.
He orders Dr. Pepper.
He then lays a good scrambled egg.
Cow A: I slept with your sister!
Cow B: Never knew my brother was a girl!
All the other cows:
:O
Child: "Mom, what's an 'orgasm'?"
Mom: "I don't know, dear. Try asking your father."
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who.
You sound like an owl.
Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.
Why is the number 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
What should you use to battle a T-Rex?
A dino-sword.
Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?
Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.
What do you call a black man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist bastard!
Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.