Short jokes
My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!
TommyInnit said, "Long live the Queen." Look at where she's at now.
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?
"No, you hang yourself first..."
There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!
A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.
Your forehead is so big that we may as well call it a fivehead.
Huh, I'm really pissed off. No matter how many jokes I make, no one likes them. 😭😭:'(:':😔😔😿💔💔👇👇:(
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
120 pounds.
Your forehead is so big that babies can use it as a full-sized football pitch!
He only won the election because of rigging.
82 million votes my ass.
Ask me for proof.
When you tell your friend he’s a simp and isn’t offended, say it stands for sucking intensely at monkeys' penises.
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
How do you save your wife from drowning?
Take your foot off her neck.
Throw a plate.
It’s broken, right?
Say “sorry” to it.
Did it fix back?
No... that’s the same thing you did to me :)
What mountain do people like to race on?
Mount Rushmore.
Get it?
How many redheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
One! She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT.
What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK.
Deja-poo.
The sense or feeling you have dealt with this crap in the past.
Me: Hey, I’m your mom.
Orphan: Yay, you came back!
Me: Sike!