Short jokes
I got detention one day. I don’t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.
Why was the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it wanted to look up a 10 year old girl’s skirt.
Why do Roman Catholics have so many kids?
So there’s more for the priest.
(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?
You're so poor, even the store didn't let you buy anything free.
How do Chinese people name their babies?
They chuck a pan down the stairs.
Consent before sex is a joke. It's just politically correct feminazi propaganda.
Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? It's kinda trippy if I'm being honest.
How do you name a Chinese kid?
Throw a frying pan on their head, "Ching Chong!"
Yo mama so UGLY... at the strip club... people pay her... to keep her clothes ON!!!
What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?
They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.
Why can’t a gay person walk a trail? Because a gay person can’t walk on a straight line.
Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.
What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!
Why did the polack try writing a letter with his dick?
Because he didn't have a pen to write with.
My username good.
I like my men like I like my Alexa:
By my bed and turned on.
When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)
I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?