Short jokes
What kind of trumpet are you playing?
An "Donald Trumpet"!
How do you save your wife from drowning?
Take your foot off her neck.
What mountain do people like to race on?
Mount Rushmore.
Get it?
TommyInnit said, "Long live the Queen." Look at where she's at now.
What did the therapist say to the rapist yes please
Trump likes to grab 'em by the pussy. Putin likes to grab them by their tiny hands.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
120 pounds.
There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!
How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?
"No, you hang yourself first..."
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.
"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"
Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.
Huh, I'm really pissed off. No matter how many jokes I make, no one likes them. 😭😭:'(:':😔😔😿💔💔👇👇:(
Your forehead is so big that we may as well call it a fivehead.
You're losing all your friends, but never any calories.
When you tell your friend he’s a simp and isn’t offended, say it stands for sucking intensely at monkeys' penises.
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
He only won the election because of rigging.
82 million votes my ass.
Ask me for proof.
How many redheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
One! She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
Your forehead is so big that babies can use it as a full-sized football pitch!
I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"