What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? -- The computer runs.
I tried to take a fog machine, but I took the wrong one. Needless to say, it was a big mist-take.
I ate a time-machine once, it was very time consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.
What kind of vacuum does an abortion centre use A: Dyson
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labour, the doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father, they agree so the machine is used, 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not felling anything, 100%, nothing. The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
What wasStephen Hawkings fav shampoo head n bolts
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
I farted in my grandma ́s breathing machine
I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden, It just doesn’t make any cents!
what gets louder as it gets smaller. -a baby in a trash compactor.
I asked the gym trainer what type of machine i should use to get the best looking women
He said the ATM outside
A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug" you are letting it slowly die.
Why do emo kids cost so much? Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing!
run on a sandpaper floor-treadmill hybrid in a medium sized room for 24 hours it will be fun
What do me and a casino machine have in common. It takes about 50 pumps to get to the jackpot.
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals. I hacker, a rapist, a serial killer and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial decides that she want’s to change, but when she see a knife she just can’t help it. He bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist get teleported back to prison
What is white, then red, and is very fast?
My chainsaw blade
have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?
WALUIGI GETS HIS WALU-WEENIE STUCK IN A VENDING MACHINE!
