Short jokes
My favorite sex position is the McDonald's.
Ba da ba ba ba, I'm lovin' it!
Why did the skeleton want a friend?
Because she was feeling bonely.
A man with no arms is tasked with a lot of jobs. Then he says to his boss, "I can't handle all of this!"
What STD can you get from phone sex?
Hearing AIDS.
Somebody told me to go to hell, so I walked up to Donald Trump.
What has a heart but no organs?
A deck of cards!
What's worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.
A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible?
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your cock into a girl's mouth.
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Nothing, because numbers don’t have consciences.
"Hippoty hoppity, women are property."
Sayo-nara.
I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.
What did the Indian say when the pizza was delivered to him?
"Hey! Who puked on the frybread?"
What happens after you eat at a combination Chinese-German restaurant?
An hour later, you're hungry—for power!
What's the difference between a female NCO and a zebra?
A zebra didn't have to suck and fuck to get its stripes.
What do you call an Irish lesbian?
A Gaelic.
What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Getting them back in the wheelchair.
Why do Russians drink grizzly bear piss?
Since vodka in Russia is so weak, Russians need a strong drink to get drunk.
What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?
Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.