Short jokes
What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
I can only fit three fingers inside the bowling ball.
Fortnite is good.
(Awesome joke, right?)
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
Anyone who says they don't like cats has never had one cooked right...
Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”
Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”
What do penguins 🐧 eat for lunch?
Freeze burgers.
Why did the butt let out a fart?
Answer: To wipe out humanity!
What's the difference between my ass and the toddlers in my uncle's basement?
My ass doesn't cry when he sticks it in late at night.
You're so skinny, you swallowed a meatball and thought you were pregnant!
Just watched my friend take a steak out of her pocket. That steak was so outta pocket.
Why did the prostitute lose all her money?
Because she got f*cked.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.
You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
Q: What does Pakistan love to do with India when they go to war?
A: Surrender their 93,000 soldiers.
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
I got a call from NASA. They’ve reached your hairline.
What is an astronaut's favorite letter on a keyboard?
SPACE.
What is a suicidal horny person's job?
A butcher.
I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?