Short jokes
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.
What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?
"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"
Women have ass and tits... but men have dick and rights.
Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy.
How do you get a party started in Africa?
You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.
Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."
Gaster: "👌☼⚐ ✌☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☼✋⚐🕆💧 ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈✍"
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
You're so wonderful that Wonderland booked tickets to meet you!
You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child!
Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?
Cuz you’re looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.
Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.
What do moms want for Mother's Day? Replacement silverware.
Why shouldn’t you call people in China?
Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.
My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and went right.
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.
My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?
I really hit the mother lode with you!
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.