Short jokes
Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied her!
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
Q. You know what really bugs me?
A. Insect puns.
I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.
What would you call a person who hides in a house for 24 hours and then kills them?
Morgz.
Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?
Dumb kid: The W???
One day, I put a lady taffy on my ass.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints.
What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?
A waist of time.
I had a joke about pizza, it's just too cheesy.
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"
What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?
They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”
This website sucks, it never cites the correct information.
I drank some dye before, but don't worry, I've only dyed a little inside.
A puma was making another puma laugh. That puma that was laughing said, “Stop making me laugh! I’m gonna puma pants!”
I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...
What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Dad!
Dad who?
*Silence*
Why did the author go to the emergency room?
His editor told him he needed an appendix removed.