Short jokes
A poor person came up to me and said, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.
Why shouldn’t you call people in China?
Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.
My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and went right.
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.
My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.
What color flowers do mama cats like to get?
Purrrrrrrple flowers.
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
What's Momma bear's favorite baseball team? The Cubs.
What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.
If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?
Why should you always wear rubber?
So you don’t leave DNA evidence.
I wasn't going to tell another emo joke, but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.
What did the cops say when someone called him racist?
"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."
I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.
Why did Hitler commit suicide?
He got the gas bill.
What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown?
Cheater, cheater, woman beater!