Short jokes
What comes up on small oceans? Microwaves.
Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?
He got caught playing with his Privates!
My wife accused me of being immature, so I kicked her out of my "boys fort."
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit."
I must have at least 87 years of bad luck; every time I look in the mirror, it breaks!
Why did the dumb blonde pee inside the condom?
Because the doctor told the dumb blonde that the dumb blonde was going to get a urine test!
Me :D
Helen Keller once dated a brick wall.
Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.
Why do humans hate aliens?
Because Fortnite took them out of the game, and I want aliens back in Fortnite!
I'm Pickle Rick from Fortnite hahahahahaha!
Cheese, gimme cheese!
(inspired by a friend)
What is Jesus’s Favorite Exercise?
CrossFit.
My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.
When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. When you turn 16, you get a DM from Prince Andrew.
Roses are red.
Your passports are blue.
Now go stand over there,
In that very long queue!
Women be like don't tell me what to wear, proceeds to tell men what to wear.
How do adults like their cookies like their orphans?
Homemade.
Your mom is so fat she was the reason why the Titanic crashed.
I like dicks... sporting goods.