Short jokes
You know, when women clean their nails with chemicals, no one cares, but when Hitler tries to clean Poland with chemicals, everyone goes crazy.
Feminism.
Your momma so fat, when she stepped on the weighing scales, her phone number came up!
What is the most sensitive part of a man's anatomy while he's masturbating?
His ears.
What do you call a skinny black dick? A Tootsie Roll.
Hey, watch me eat this African sandwich.
*Takes huge bite of air.*
How do you make a baby cry?
You run over it with a lawn mower.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, he got nailed before he died!
Why do Indian men marry fat women?
Because they worship cows.
How do you tell when a blonde just lost her virginity?
Her crayons are still wet.
You guys asked for a joke? Well, you're in luck, because you already are one!
Why did my boyfriend leave me?
Because he's gay.
But why did he come back to me?
Because I'm actually a guy :-)
What do you call an octopus with a hat?
An octopus with a hat, of course.
Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?
A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.
Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?
He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"
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How many genders are there?
One, women are property.
A kid got a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. He was still unhappy.
Why?
The kid had no legs.
Dick.