Short jokes
My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen.
He was charged for impersonating a police officer.
I raped a girl and I liked it.
I hope my girlfriend won't mind it.
It felt so wrong, it felt so right.
Don't mean I'm in love tonight.
Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy.
How do you get a party started in Africa?
You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.
Why are Mexican families so big?
They don’t know how to put a condom on.
Did you hear about that Muslim party?
It was a blast!
What's the difference between a CEO and licorice?
The licorice is black.
What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?
"We need to circumcise that one."
What do you call the inside of the ISS toilet?
Cosmic Brownies.
Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.
I love you, Explain Bear. Please bear my children.
What's the best thing about Switzerland? The flag is a big plus.
What do you call a Lesbian at a Barbecue? A LGBBQ.
Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?
Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.
You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!
Just give me my money (clap clap clap).
What’s the LGBTQ national anthem?
Somewhere over the rainbow.
I told one of my friends, "You're the reason why gene pools have lifeguards."
I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.
It's my New Year's resolution.
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.