Short jokes
What is similar between Hitler and Trump?
They both want to keep races out.
When I die, I’ll die in a trash can.
Guys, the person that said "suck a dick" was Mase. His real name is Mason, so ya.
Why do orphans never get a car?
Because their parents need to buy them one.
Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.
What comes after 69?
Mouthwash.
"Like if u cry everytime."
How do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.
Your hairline goes so far back even Dwayne Johnson refused to sit there.
Sorry but, no one asked.
789.
I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.
The orphan also had to cry because the cartels called him "homie."
Battery 1%.
I take one last look at Earth as my suit runs out of power.
What do you call an emo with curly hair?
Sam Reid.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
It's not Minecraft.
It's Ourcraft!
Me: Knock knock.
My Grandma: Who’s there?
Me: Interrupting cow.
My Grandma: Interrupting c-
[Dies from heart attack]
Why can't Kobe go shopping?
He's dead.
Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.