Short jokes
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
Why can’t orphans watch Netflix?
Because they don't know what age rate they are...
Stephen Hawking: one hp (Fortnite)
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.
You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.
What is similar between Hitler and Trump?
They both want to keep races out.
What do you call it when a man gets high in Panera Bread?
Panera sped.
I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.
The orphan also had to cry because the cartels called him "homie."
789.
Me: Knock knock.
My Grandma: Who’s there?
Me: Interrupting cow.
My Grandma: Interrupting c-
[Dies from heart attack]
Why can't Kobe go shopping?
He's dead.
Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.
Kid: Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who’s there?
Kid: Not your parents.
I-I-I-I-I-I keep on hopin' we'll eat cake by the ocean, uh!
I am not making a noose; I am making an unsubscribe button for life.
Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!
This humor is so dark, it's darker than the Black population.
I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"