Discount jokes
I drove by the gun shop the other day and everything was half off for back to school.
If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?
What's the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store?
Scan the wrist and you might get a discount.
I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store, just to take me with him and scan my wrist.
What is the legal term for shoplifting?
10 fingers discount.
Def all moms lol
I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.
Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
I went to the store the other day and scanned an emo's arm.
It gave me a discount!
I went into the supermarket; everything was half off. Of course, I took the bottom half of Spider-Man.
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off!
Why does the emo's mom like taking her son to the store?
Because the cashier can scan his wrist for discounts!
Want to save 50% on your Chinese?
Just ask before you pay.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.
You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Why did Michael Jackson go to Walmart? Because he heard boys' pants were half off!
Why do emos get discounts at every shop? Because they have barcodes on their wrists.
Kenney lost his virginity to a $10 hooker, but he only had to pay $5. She was his sister, so he got the family discount.
People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!
Michael Jackson was recently sighted at Target. Why? The sale was all boys' pants half off!
Why are emos useful in stores? A: Their barcodes give them discounts.
Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.