Steak Jokes

a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.


"Waiter, my steak is too skinny." "It's a strip steak, sir." "At these prices, it should not only strip, but sing and dance too!"

so the man asks me, "Jesus how do you want your steak "

so I said, "well done, my good faithful servant, well done.

Chef: β€œHow did you enjoy your steak, sir?” Customer: β€œI asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!” Chef: β€œWhy thank you.” Customer: β€œYou don’t understand, the steak is well done!” Chef: β€œOf course it is, I made it.”

Son: What's for dinner tonight? Mon: Steak! Son: Mom you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me? Mim: HUNGER!

I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.


A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact I am." "Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet." The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man." "I am. But the steaks are too high."