Steak Jokes

Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.

a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.

"Waiter, my steak is too skinny." "It's a strip steak, sir." "At these prices, it should not only strip, but sing and dance too!"

What do you call a cow that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.

"Oh waiter! Waiter!"

"Yes sir?"

"Do you have frog's legs?"

"Why yes"

"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"

so the man asks me, "Jesus how do you want your steak "

so I said, "well done, my good faithful servant, well done.

Waiter: "here you go, one medium-rare steak".

Me: "I like it well done."

Waiter: "thanks, that means a lot."

Just watched my friend take a steak out of her pocket. That steak was so outta pocket.

Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?” Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!” Chef: “Why thank you.” Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!” Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”

Son: What's for dinner tonight? Mon: Steak! Son: Mom you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me? Mim: HUNGER!

How do lions 🦁 like their steak?

“Roar”

What did the blind man say to his dog after eating dinner

Just ate a tasty steak

What do you call a steak that tastes bad? A MISsteak

You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in calabasas

My kitchen was rearranged today. The tables have turned and the steaks are higher.

My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...

I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.

I am mis-steak.

What do you call an idiotic cow

A mis-steak!

Gambler

A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact I am." "Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet." The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man." "I am. But the steaks are too high."