My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high…

a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.

Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.

What do you call an idiotic cow

A mis-steak!

A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards… The steaks were pretty high

My kitchen was rearranged today. The tables have turned and the steaks are higher.


A guy walks into a butcher’s shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, “Why yes, as a matter of fact I am.” "Then I’ll bet you $25 you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I’m sorry, I won’t take that bet." The guy says, “But I thought you said you were a gambling man.” “I am. But the steaks are too high.”

What do you call a steak that tastes bad? A MISsteak

i like my women like i like my steak… bloody

What do you call a cow that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.

I am mis-steak.

What is the one sauce Germans avoid on their steak?


What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?

High steaks gambling.

How do you eat a meat?

  • you steak it in your mouth

hey whats up

What do you do when you made a misteak? You do some yoga 🧘‍♀️ and say namaaa steak.

The waiter asked me how would you like your steak? I replied “as soon possible” !!!

What did Pluto say to Saturn while barbecuing steaks? Mine is meat-eor than yours

Someone asked me, how would you like your steak cooked? I said, on a stove!!!

A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling. The cashier says “If you can grab it, your meal’s free.”. The man then said “Nah, the stakes are too high.”.

A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions …you must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate and you must never hold on to any beef . " The Angel then disappeared.  The man did as was told and became generous and kind …as he emerged from the betting office with all his money… he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person…each and everytime. He ,however couldn’t seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what .  When he died the Angel came back for him … “But I’m undeserving I can’t come with you” he said … “Yes you can” replied the Angel , “you gave all your stake ( steak) away”

My sister has cows and after 4 months she said the was a miss steak.

How does a butcher keep his tent up in the wind? Steaks.

What do you call a cow with all of his legs -high steaks