Steak Jokes

in Bar

a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.


Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.

in Puns

My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...

in Country

What do u call a united cow? United Steaks

Kill me
in Cow

What do you call an idiotic cow

A mis-steak!

in Card

A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards... The steaks were pretty high

"Oh waiter! Waiter!"

"Yes sir?"

"Do you have frog's legs?"

"Why yes"

"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"

Just watched my friend take a steak out of her pocket. That steak was so outta pocket.


"Waiter, my steak is too skinny." "It's a strip steak, sir." "At these prices, it should not only strip, but sing and dance too!"

in Puns

My kitchen was rearranged today. The tables have turned and the steaks are higher.

Waiter: "here you go, one medium-rare steak".

Me: "I like it well done."

Waiter: "thanks, that means a lot."

in Cow

What do you call a cow that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.

in Gambler


A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact I am." "Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet." The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man." "I am. But the steaks are too high."

in Puns

What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?

High steaks gambling.

in Jesus

so the man asks me, "Jesus how do you want your steak "

so I said, "well done, my good faithful servant, well done.

in Puns

What do you call a steak that tastes bad? A MISsteak


Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?” Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!” Chef: “Why thank you.” Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!” Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”

in Pluto

What did Pluto say to Saturn while barbecuing steaks? Mine is meat-eor than yours

pro joker

I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.