What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.
Short Jokes
What day does Venus like?
SATURNday.
"I spy with my little eye..."
- Noting I am blind -
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
Welcome to David's Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em!
Are you a red light? Because I stop every time I see you.
Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.
Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.
Son: Really?
Also 2 hours later:
Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.
Mom: Son, I-
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?
A Topping.
I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.
Why does the owl 🦉 have a lot of friends?
Because he’s a hoot.
Why are orphans terrible at baseball? They never get home runs.
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?
A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.
Me and my friend's life story on a daily basis.
What food makes you smart? Salt, because it's a mined food.
I like my women like my family, they’re related.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Banana na na.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
