Short jokes
Déjà Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
There will be no school shooter joke today in honor of the 10 people killed in the Colorado grocery store shooting. R.I.P.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!
Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.
They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!
A kid got a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. He was still unhappy.
Why?
The kid had no legs.
How many genders are there?
One, women are property.
What does a South African Batman wear? A cape.
How many wives does Santa have?
Ho Ho Ho!
When someone says, "Jesus," I say, "Bitch, where?"
Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
You're so damn ugly that the robbers only go into your house to close the blinds.
What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?
I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.
What's the difference between having sex with my girlfriend and a baby?
I don't have a girlfriend.
What do you call a hospital that's flooded with vegetable soup?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
The chicken!
Why did the midget not go to bed?
He couldn't reach the bed.
I’m a clown...
And everyone knows.
Last time Kenny ate a vegetable, he got banned from his mom's nursing home.
What is Trump's favorite snack?
Cheetos.
(Get it? He looks like a Cheeto!)
Three Nazis walk into a bar.