Short jokes
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
"Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world? It only had one dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu."
Why are disabled people screwed?
Because you can't run or hide!
Toast is like parents.
If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.
Banker: I have the right to take your money!
Me: Check my name.
Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?
Banker: *realizes*
Me: 😈🖐️ Gimme, gimme.
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.
I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.
Your smile is so nice that the moon shines off them.
Are you a sports car? Because you give my heart quite a rush!
Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?
A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.
Why can't you make jokes about catholic priests?
Because they blow up in your face.
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
Why do some couples go to the gym together?
Because they want their relationship to work out.
What color flowers do mama cats like to get?
Purrrrrrrple flowers.
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
What's Momma bear's favorite baseball team? The Cubs.
What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.
If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?