How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
Short Jokes
I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
Are you Hiroshima? Because I want to drop my bomb inside you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, when The Oh Hellos saw you they said "Shoo!"
Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.
Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."
Gaster: "👌☼⚐ ✌☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☼✋⚐🕆💧 ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈✍"
What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked?
“Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”
Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.
Doctor: What is your zodiac sign?
Patient: Cancer, why?
Doctor: What are the chances?
Patient: Of what?
What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.
I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.
I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.
Don't commit suicide, that would make DJUNGELSKOG sad!
Toast is like parents.
If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.
Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?
Doctor: To the morgue.
Man: But I’m not dead yet.
Doctor: Are we there yet?
What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown?
Cheater, cheater, woman beater!
Random couple after their first night:
Husband: It was very tasty. 🥵
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: Does anyone had taste it before?
Wife: ☠️
I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"
My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen.
He was charged for impersonating a police officer.
