Short jokes
Stephen Hawking had pins and needles and got told to walk it off.
How is an orphan like a boomerang?
They always come back!
I was boiling some water and said, "Water, you will be mist!"
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Where did Amy go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. But not me, I live next to a 10-year-old boy with a fat ass.
Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas? Herpes.
Sally has no arms. What did she get for Christmas? I don't know, she hasn't opened it yet.
Want to know why some astronomers are gay?
It’s because they want to be in Uranus.
Where do cows keep their historical cultural artifacts?
In the mooseum.
What was Osama's favourite food... yer nan?
Why did Hitler's girlfriend break up with him? He Hit-ler.
What does a bar fly and a necrophiliac have in common?
They both enjoy a cold one once in a while.
What’s my favorite Islamic Holiday... 9/11.
Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?
My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.
Kenny is a comfort snacker.
Every time he's stressed, he eats his mom's pussy.
I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.
A blonde walks into a bar.
Ouch.
What do you call anal rape?
Ass cream.