Sex jokes

Now I know what my priest meant by the second coming!

How do you know if your sister's on her period?

Your dad's dick tastes funny.

What's worse than fingering your sister?

Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.

My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!

What does a Rubik's cube and a penis have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"

What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common?

I don’t care if she has one.

Whoever said men will f**k anything that moves is *dead* wrong.

What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?

Getting neck!

Why did the sperm cross the road?

Because he put the wrong sock was put on.

Hehe.

You know what's the most awkward situation in the world? A rapper with erectile dysfunction.

Herpes? No, I don't want her. Her pees.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I fucked a chimpanzee behind my local zoo.

I used to be a man in a woman’s body. And then I was born.

What does Amy Rose like? Blue balls.

A penis has a sad life.

His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him. That's it for now.

Who's in my ass?

Your sister.

What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?

They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.

If I fuck you harder, you have to scream "daddy," but what happens when you cum?

I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.

Spare.

You got a spare, spare me an inch of that far juicy cock.