Sex jokes
How is [someone] blessed with a 9 inch dick?
That priest is in jail now. Shout out to the church!
Your mom's ass is so petite and big, I'd pound that till the Earth shakes.
Your mom gave me a three course meal last night:
Starters - Foreplay
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl
Dessert - Blowy
Won't forget the side drink of an individual on individual bukkake.
What’s the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One kneels for salvation.
The other kneels with salivation.
Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.
Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...
I didn’t expect her to come back so early.
Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?
A. A backroom deal.
I have no problem with prostitution.
It's like an Air BnB for your dick.
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
Your mom has quite the mouth on her.
As I found out last night. Oh, what a night!! 😏 😉 😜
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
Q: What's another name for cumming inside a woman?
A: Loading up the dishwasher.
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?
One eats tape while the other eats pussy.
Who's in my ass?
Your sister.
What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?
Your mom can't take a joke.
What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.
To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."
Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"