How is [someone] blessed with a 9 inch dick?
That priest is in jail now. Shout out to the church!
Sex Jokes
I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
Q: What's another name for cumming inside a woman?
A: Loading up the dishwasher.
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
What do orgasms and impulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
We aren't ghosts, but I'll take you under the sheets.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
What comes after 69?
Period.
What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?
Your mom can't take a joke.
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican?
Her teacher told her that she had to do an essay.
What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?
One eats tape while the other eats pussy.
What's common between the penis and a Rubik's cube?
Both get hard when we play with them.
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.
