The 100+ Best Sign Jokes

I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is £1,000" But that's not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.

Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."

You know when you sign up for something and it says *im not a robot* guess he never had the chance to tick that

I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”

My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.

Your hairline looks like they Mac Donald’s sign M

why can't orphans play online games. Because they don't have parents to sign them up

Why don't mexicans cross the border in groups of 3? Cause the sign says "No Trespassing"

I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dived to save it, he said he always dives for pens.

DO Not Touch - the worst thing you can read in Braille

My ex was orphan as a child I should have taken that as the first sign. If her parents didn't want her, why would I.

Sign outside a hair salon: We'll color your hair or dye trying.

You know that if it says adopt a highway and no one does were driving on orphans

Did the people of England see a game over sign in the sky when the quean died

A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.