You know what's the most awkward situation in the world? A rapper with erectile dysfunction.
Sex Jokes
Whoever said men will f**k anything that moves is *dead* wrong.
What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?
They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.
My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!
What does a Rubik's cube and a penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Who's in my ass?
Your sister.
Now I know what my priest meant by the second coming!
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because he put the wrong sock was put on.
Hehe.
Why is life like penises?
Women make it hard.
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
If I fuck you harder, you have to scream "daddy," but what happens when you cum?
Imagine everyone being hoes.
What’s the difference between 69 and High School?
In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.
Spare.
You got a spare, spare me an inch of that far juicy cock.
What do you call a thirsty girl?
An H2Hoe.
I'll give you an A because you're awesome.
B because you're beautiful.
A C because you're caring.
And I'll give you this D cuz you deserve it.
Yeah, she called me "Pledge" because I knocked the dust off it.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.
To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."
Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
