Sex jokes
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
What do you call a thirsty girl?
An H2Hoe.
I'll give you an A because you're awesome.
B because you're beautiful.
A C because you're caring.
And I'll give you this D cuz you deserve it.
Imagine everyone being hoes.
What’s the difference between 69 and High School?
In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.
Memes
Why is life like penises?
Women make it hard.
What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.
Yeah, she called me "Pledge" because I knocked the dust off it.
I suck my dick.
Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?
Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"
BAJAHAHAHHAA
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
What's the difference between sex and gender?
You can't have gender with your sister.
What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?
One eats tape while the other eats pussy.
What's common between the penis and a Rubik's cube?
Both get hard when we play with them.
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?
Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.
Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican?
Her teacher told her that she had to do an essay.
Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?
A. A backroom deal.
I have no problem with prostitution.
It's like an Air BnB for your dick.