Sex jokes

What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?

Your mom can't take a joke.

I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.

Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican?

Her teacher told her that she had to do an essay.

What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?

One eats tape while the other eats pussy.

What's common between the penis and a Rubik's cube?

Both get hard when we play with them.

The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!

I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.

I suck my dick.

What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?

"Damn, that's really stiff!"

How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?

The psychologist will thank you for coming.

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.

Your mom's ass is so petite and big, I'd pound that till the Earth shakes.

Your mom has quite the mouth on her.

As I found out last night. Oh, what a night!! 😏 😉 😜

What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"

How do you know if your sister's on her period?

Your dad's dick tastes funny.

What's worse than fingering your sister?

Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.

How can you tell if your husband is dead?

The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.

I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.

I have no problem with prostitution.

It's like an Air BnB for your dick.

Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.

Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...

I didn’t expect her to come back so early.

What’s the hardest part about f...ing toddlers?

My boner.

What is the origin of the glory hole?

The origins can be found in San Francisco, California, where historians claim that a meat thermometer was sticking out of a hole from both sides, especially the divider between bathroom stalls inside the men's restroom used for an anonymous massage for gay men by gay men in San Francisco, CA, in the Wild West.