Sex jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I fucked a chimpanzee behind my local zoo.
I used to be a man in a woman’s body. And then I was born.
Whoever said men will f**k anything that moves is *dead* wrong.
What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?
They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.
Spare.
You got a spare, spare me an inch of that far juicy cock.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because he put the wrong sock was put on.
Hehe.
I'll give you an A because you're awesome.
B because you're beautiful.
A C because you're caring.
And I'll give you this D cuz you deserve it.
What do you call a thirsty girl?
An H2Hoe.
Why is life like penises?
Women make it hard.
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.
What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"
Yeah, she called me "Pledge" because I knocked the dust off it.
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?
A. A backroom deal.
I have no problem with prostitution.
It's like an Air BnB for your dick.
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?
Your mom can't take a joke.
What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
How is [someone] blessed with a 9 inch dick?
That priest is in jail now. Shout out to the church!