Sex jokes
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!
What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?
"Damn, that's really stiff!"
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican?
Her teacher told her that she had to do an essay.
What's the difference between sex and gender?
You can't have gender with your sister.
Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?
Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"
BAJAHAHAHHAA
Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?
Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
What do orgasms and impulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
We aren't ghosts, but I'll take you under the sheets.
What comes after 69?
Period.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him. That's it for now.
What does Amy Rose like? Blue balls.
My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!
What does a Rubik's cube and a penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?
Getting neck!
Herpes? No, I don't want her. Her pees.