Meal jokes

I thought of having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents.

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? -- Meals on wheels.

They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if it's poisoned.

Then the antidote becomes the most important.

What do you call the penises of gay men that are in wheelchairs?

Meals on wheels 😋😍🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭

Why can't blind people eat fish?

Because it's sea food.

I got detention for giving an emo kid a happy meal.

My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help me understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So, me with my horrible humor, decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around, and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, "Here you are, a fine African meal." Then everybody looked at me in disappointment, and then I continued to say, "What? Poor taste?"

What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.

I ate a clock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.

What did a cannibal have as his last meal?

Five guys.

What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?

Spareribs!

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?

His shoulder.

What is the similarity between a joke and food?

Some people just don't get them!

Happiness is like food, not everyone gets it.

KFC proudly presents the kid fryer meal where our fillets are made out of kids. 😎 1 like = more kids in our fryer.

Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.

Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."

I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest, tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life. Then when I woke up, my wife was gone.

What food does a cheetah eat?

Fast food.

What's the best part of working at an abortion clinic?

Free dog food.

I offered to share a meal with a homeless person once, but he said, "Piss off and buy your own!"