Poor

wetnightmare

My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help mean understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So me with my horrible humor decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, “Here you are a fine African meal.” then everybody looked at me in disappointment and then I continued to say, “what poor taste?”

Cannibal

Anonymous

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? – Meals on wheels.

Breakfast

the chef

They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if its poisoned.

then the antidote becomes the most important

Baby

guacamole n.... p....

what do you call a baby in an oven? my next meal

Orphan

Anonymous

Why cant a orphan go to mcdonalds theres no point in the words happy meal

Shoulder

Anonymous

whats steven hawkins favourite meal?

his shoulder

Puns

Lord Voldemort

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine. But why did seven eat nine? Because seven knew you had to have three squared meals a day

Puns

Loding...

Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry

Puns

Anonymous

What did the dalmation dog say after he finished his meal?

That hit the spot?

Shooting

B-rett

A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flyin around about six inches above the water. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal.”

There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal.”

There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal.”

There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal.”

There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal.”

Then it all happened

The fly dropped six inches

The fish came up and caught the fly

The bear came out and caught the fish

The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich

The mouse went for the sandwich

The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond

The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet.

Hair

Anonymous

The say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal

Fat

Anonymous

Robert doesn’t see people, the man just sees meals

Cry

jaylin

yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry

Head

Crazy Cat Lady

My Cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the Dr. once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her. She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day. I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my Cat is a Democrat!

Man

Anonymous

A man and a woman get married. The woman was Retired hooker. The man was a poet. The man said as they did 69, you taste better than my most delecious gormet meal. The woman said, well you aren’t too bad either. But the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop. They dot divorced that night.

Food

Bob

What’s Stephen hawking favourite food - meals on wheels

Wife

Nicola

Stephen Hawkins and his wife Siri’s favourite place to eat is meals on wheels😂

Star

Anonymous

What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal? Some Desert!

Legs

Mike (the Funny one)

Two lions plan their escape from the circus. the night they get out of their cages they see a lone clown stumbling back from town, drunk, not a soul in sight. Since they are going on the run, they decide to catch one last meal before they hit the road. as one lion gets a bite of leg the second takes a piece of shoulder. Then one stops and asks his companion: Does this taste funny to you?

Puns

Your missing dog

A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling. The cashier says “If you can grab it, your meal’s free.”. The man then said “Nah, the stakes are too high.”.

Loading...