I thought of having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents.
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if its poisoned.
then the antidote becomes the most important
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
What did the skeleton say before dinner? BONE appetit. His whole family found that HUMERUS.
I got detention for giving a emo kid a happy meal
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? SPARERIBS
whats steven hawkins favourite meal?
his shoulder
What did a cannibal have as his last meal?
Five guys.
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
Happiness is like food, not everyone gets it
Kfc proudly presents the kid fryer meal where our fillets are made out of kids.π 1 like = more kids in our fryer
Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.
Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."
I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life ten when I woke up my wife was gone.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? -- Meals on wheels.
What's the best part of working at an abortion clinic?
Free dog food.
I offered to share a Meal with an Homeless Person once but he said "Piss off and buy your Own"
What do skeletons say before they begin dining? Bone-Appetit!
A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flyin around about six inches above the water. He thought, βif that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal.β
There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, βif that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal.β
There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, βif that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal.β
There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, βif that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal.β
There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, βif that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal.β
Then it all happened
The fly dropped six inches
The fish came up and caught the fly
The bear came out and caught the fish
The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich
The mouse went for the sandwich
The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond
The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet.
My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help mean understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So me with my horrible humor decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, "Here you are a fine African meal." then everybody looked at me in disappointment and then I continued to say, "what poor taste?"
What do you call the penises of gay men that are in wheelchairs βΏ π©βπ¦Ό meals on wheels π π π π π π π