Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?
To play Star Wars.
Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?
To play Star Wars.
Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?
They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.
I had sex with my boss's daughter.
I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.
Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing with the bent one.
A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."
To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."
My mother was suffering from menstrual pain. So I fucked her for 7 hours to ease her pain. I continued to do so for the next 6 days. Even after fucking her 51 times during her 7-day period, I fucked her 5-6 times a day for the next three months and stopped her period for 9 months! Only her son can understand and ease the pain of a mother.
I don't fuck my mother all day long. I fuck my mother for only 6 hours a day. Sometimes it's 7-8 hours. It depends on how busy my siblings and father are with their work.
Why do men give cold women their jackets?
No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.
What's something you can say in church and while having sex?
I come in the name of the Lord.
What’s another name for cumming inside a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
What's the hardest thing when working with the severely mentally handicapped?
My dick.
What's the difference between sex and mental illness?
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.
Roses are red, I have a blister, holy shit did you just cum in your sister?
POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?
Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?