Sex jokes

I fiddled your mum last night, she fucking moaned like a fucking wilder beast.

Yo daddy so stupid, he went to the HO-tel to see some hoes.

What is Sophia’s favourite song?

"Open Wide" cum inside, it is okay school.

What does your girl do to me? She sucks me off.

Jack and Jill ran up the hill to pop some pills,

And Jill said, "Jack can do her without here will," and Jack's penis was still.

What is a queef?

Something your mum did in bed last night. 😩😩😩🍑🍑🍑🌬️🌬️🌬️🌪️🌪️🌪️

Jack and Jill went up the hill for drunkin' wild sex.

Jack went by Jill to get a lick, and watched Jill get off on a stick.

How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.

My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!

Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jill could lick Jack's candystick, but Jill got a surprise when she saw her boyfriend Rik. He got so angry Jack has no candystick no more. Jill went home with a black eye, and Rik got arrested for cutting Jack's candystick.

Why does the environmentalist pimp have his hoes fuck bareback?

He wants to keep condoms out of landfills.

Charizarding.

When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"

How to give a good hand job?

Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.

None of you ever touch my penis.

Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.

Chuck Norris is a genius for this: Walker Texas Ranger = Wrangler Karate Sex.

A customer came to me and asked for condoms for tiny dicks.

Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?

A condom!

Dick sucking.

Why do orphans love blowjobs?

Because they actually get kissed!