Sex jokes
When they say beat that pussy, I don’t play so punch it.
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.
What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.
How do you have sex? You take off your clothes and shove your dick in the girl's pussy. If girl suck his dick.
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!
type shizz
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My I.
May I who?
May I put this pussy on your mouth?
The very young and pretty nun was walking home from the soup kitchen when a homeless man dragged her into the woods and had his way with her.
When he was done, he asked her what she would tell the Mother Superior when she got back to the convent. She calmly said that she would tell her the truth.
She said: "I will tell her that I was on my way home when the most disgusting, repulsive, and abhorrent man dragged me into the woods and had his way with me... twice; that is if you are not too tired."
Tongue Trick Sex: The Movie.
Not coming soon!
What do you call a vagina with multiple clits?
A tongue workout!
Knock knock. "Who's there?" "Grandma." "Oh, okay."
Nah, it's a penis.
What's a pedophile's favorite place to go in?
Kum and Go.
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn’t close his casket.
What's the difference between pussy and pizza... nothing because I'll eat them both.
So this is how I got divorced.
On my birthday my boss, who was a hot sexy woman who I have always had an eye on her huge ass and tits, wished me happy birthday and took me to her house. She went into the shower and came out dressed and this made me disappointed. But then she stripped off and made my dick go into her pussy and before I could realize I heard her main door creak. And in came my wife, mum, and my 2 kids, 8 years old and 12 years old. Although my wife joined in, she was mad after since that was not my wife, that was my wife's twin sister. Do not know why woman these days are like this!!!!!!!!!!
Are you a haunted house?
Cuz I am gonna be screaming when I come inside you.
A good man deserves a queen who will pussy slide on his penis casually, frig him with her thighs like a prostitute, make him laugh like a homie, cook like his mama.
What day can you have sex on?
Answer: Wednesday. Why? Because it's hump day.
Slob on my knob.
My d*ck is hard, what's your name?