Jack jokes

I don't have a joke, I just have a friend named Jack.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.

"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem." - Jack Sparrow

Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day.

Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"

Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.

"Jesus Christ almighty!" shouts Molly.

"Correct," says the teacher.

The next day the teacher asks, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"

Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack's pencil.

"Jesus Christ almighty!" she shouts.

"Correct again," says the teacher.

The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.

This time the teacher asks her, "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"

Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'm going to crack it in half!"

Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse. Will you help Jack off a horse?

Knock knock? Who's there? Kanga. Kanga who? Not kangawho, kangaroo!

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack was surprised to see she had different eyes, and that’s when he realized... Jack had fucked Jill’s daughter.

Hi, welcome to David’s sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I help you?

Jack: Hey Josh!

Josh: What?

Jack: Sex!

Josh: Huh?

Jack: SEX!!

Josh: I don't get it.

Jack: Exactly ;)

Jack and Jill went up the hill each with a buck and a quarter. Jill came down with $2.50 and Jack came down smiling.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to start to build the still for Jill.

Jack stopped and said to drunkin' Jill, "To build this still will take so long."

Jill said to Jack, "Well, f--k the still and kiss my ass, and watch me take another pill!"

"Jack Sparrow."

"Captain, Captain Jack Sparrow!"

The name is Ash, Johnathan Ash. My friends call me Jack.

"I LOVE YOU JACK!"

Jack and his kids went to the lake, and his mother wants him to go swimming. You know what he says? "Back where you came from!"

What do they call me when I jack off?

Pulled pork.

What do you say when Jack's late to sex ed?

"Aye-jack-you-late!"

The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!

I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.

There were 30 high school seniors taking finals, and once they finished, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, walked up and down the classroom to collect the tests, and asked, "So, are you guys ready for college?" And Brian answered, "No way. School is just a waste of time, every day taking *seven cruel hours of our lives*." Angela replied, "Never! Like Brian said, school is just a waste of time, and the next level is surely not worth paying $50,000 for. Besides, math class is *mental abuse to humans*!" And Jack said, "School has been a waste of so much time I'll never get back, and after these *finals* I've realized... *fuck, I never actually learned shit*!"

"Balls in Jack, Jack has balls in his mouth."