Hurricane jokes
Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!
What did one hurricane say to the other?
"I got my EYE on you!"
Hurricane Irma, it blows.
My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either since 2005.
Why are women like hurricanes?
They come in nasty and wet, then leave with your house and car.
Hee hee
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
What do women, tornadoes, and hurricanes have in common? They all get the house.
Three girls were lined up for execution. The black-haired one, being the smart one, turned around and yelled, "Tornado!"
Everyone panicked, and she escaped. The red-headed one, following her example, shouted as the executioners got back, "Hurricane!"
The red-headed friend escaped too. Now, it was the blonde's turn. Following both her friends, she turned to the executioners and yelled:
"Fire!"
What does a tornado need when it has multiple sclerosis?
A hurri-CANE.
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.
The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.
How is a marriage like a hurricane?
In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!
Ur mum's queef was like a fucking hurricane!
Why do we name hurricanes?
To keep an eye on them.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.
What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?
They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.
What do you call someone who is in an airplane crash who was a 2006 Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes?
Josef Vasicek.
Why are hurricanes like women? Because they come into your life, take nearly everything, and leave.