Living in Houston Texas and realizing that hurricanes are a annual threat my ex wife call me and ask what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer take the 610 loop dear
What did one hurricane say to the other?
I got my EYE on you!
Hurricane Irma, it blows.
My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either since 2005.
Why are women like hurricanes?
They come in nasty and wet, then leave with your house and car.
What do women, tornadoes, and hurricanes have in common? They all get the house.
What does a tornado need when it has multiple sclerosis?
A hurriCANE
a man dies and goes to heaven he sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for, he replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. he said that mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincon's once, and George Washington's never. the man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Bidden's is the one keeping the hurricane's to speed
How is a marriage like a hurricane?
In the beginning there’s a lot of sucking and blowing but at the end you lose your house
what did the hurricane say to the coconut tree
hold on to your nuts this ain't no ordinary blow job
Ur mums queef was like a fucking hurricane 😩😩😩🍑🍑🍑🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌪️🌪️🌪️🌪️🌪️🌪️🌫️🌫️🌫️🌫️🌫️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌬️🌬️🌬️🌬️🌬️🌬️🌬️🌬️
Why do we name hurricanes? To keep an eye on them
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.
What do you call someone who is in an airplane crash that is a 2006 stanley cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes? Josef Vasicek
What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common? They both won a trophy atleast once, Vanicek a 1x stanley cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.
Whats the difference between father's and hurricanes?
Nothing.They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
lol 1 week anniversary of me being on Worst Jokes Ever...
J0K35: *LETS START A JOKING KEGGAR*
A Joking keggar is where i get you drunk with some jokes, only on a special occasion.
Ok, yall ready to get drunk with raging jokes? OK LETS GOOOOo
What do you call an LGBTQ+ disc jockey?
A DG (dee gay)
What does lava use when it can't walk properly?
A volCANEo
What do crackheads do when a black man got brutalitized?
They start a HIGHot (say it like hiot _riot_)
What is Satan's favorite DJ?
MarshHELLo
What do neck breakers use?
Snapchat
What did Twitter and Reddit eat with chocolate and marshmellows?
Instagraham crackers
Is this the last joke?
No
What is similar between a dog and my ex?
They are both commonly known as bitches
What number has a flu from a pig?
Nine flu (swine flu)
What did the loaf say when he was playing hide and seek?
BREADY OR NOT? HERE I GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Who is the best anime girl?
Well its pretty obvious 02 is on the second rank
Why did Sally get caned?
Because old men hurriCANED.
That was all
OR WAS IT?
Yes, it was (Come back on Halloween for another Joking Keggar)
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.