Hurricane Jokes

Living in Houston Texas and realizing that hurricanes are a annual threat my ex wife call me and ask what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer take the 610 loop dear

What did one hurricane say to the other?

I got my EYE on you!

Hurricane Irma, it blows.

My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either sense 2005

Why are women like hurricanes?

They come in nasty and wet then leave with your house and car.

What do women, tornadoes and hurricanes have in common? - They all get the house.

What does a tornado need when it has multiple sclerosis?

A hurriCANE

a man dies and goes to heaven he sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for, he replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. he said that mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincon's once, and George Washington's never. the man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Bidden's is the one keeping the hurricane's to speed

what did the hurricane say to the coconut tree

hold on to your nuts this ain't no ordinary blow job

How is a marriage like a hurricane?

In the beginning there’s a lot of sucking and blowing but at the end you lose your house

Why do we name hurricanes? To keep an eye on them

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.

What do you call someone who is in an airplane crash that is a 2006 stanley cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes? Josef Vasicek

What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common? They both won a trophy atleast once, Vanicek a 1x stanley cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.

Whats the difference between father's and hurricanes?

Nothing.They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.