Hurricane jokes

What did one hurricane say to the other?

"I got my EYE on you!"

Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!

Hurricane Irma, it blows.

My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either since 2005.

Why are women like hurricanes?

They come in nasty and wet, then leave with your house and car.

What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?

They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.

What do women, tornadoes, and hurricanes have in common? They all get the house.

What does a tornado need when it has multiple sclerosis?

A hurri-CANE.

A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.

The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.

How is a marriage like a hurricane?

In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!

Ur mum's queef was like a fucking hurricane!

Why do we name hurricanes?

To keep an eye on them.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?

Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!

What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?

They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.

What do you call someone who is in an airplane crash who was a 2006 Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes?

Josef Vasicek.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.

What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?

Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.

Lol, 1 week anniversary of me being on Worst Jokes Ever...

J0K35: *LETS START A JOKING KEGGAR*

A Joking keggar is where I get you drunk with some jokes, only on a special occasion.

Okay, y'all ready to get drunk with raging jokes? OK LETS GOOOOo

What do you call an LGBTQ+ disc jockey?

A DG (dee gay)

What does lava use when it can't walk properly?

A volCANEo

What do crackheads do when a black man got brutalized?

They start a HIGHot (say it like hi-ot, _riot_)

What is Satan's favorite DJ?

MarshHELLo

What do neck breakers use?

Snapchat

What did Twitter and Reddit eat with chocolate and marshmallows?

Instagraham crackers

Is this the last joke?

No

What is similar between a dog and my ex?

They are both commonly known as bitches

What number has a flu from a pig?

Nine flu (swine flu)

What did the loaf say when he was playing hide and seek?

BREADY OR NOT? HERE I GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Who is the best anime girl?

Well, it's pretty obvious 02 is on the second rank

Why did Sally get caned?

Because old men hurriCANED.

That was all

OR WAS IT?

Yes, it was (Come back on Halloween for another Joking Keggar)

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.