Science jokes
What did Omnicron say to Delta?
"Same race, bud, different evolution."
"SIX FEET AWAY, OMNI! SIX FEET AWAY!"
What is mad cow disease?
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Beef stroganoff.
When you die, scientists will preserve your skull.
If gravity pulls things down at 9.8 m/s squared, why did the emo kid not come down?
What does Stephen Hawking and a prostitute have in common?
They both charge.
Yo forehead is so big, Albert Einstein couldn’t figure out the measurement of it!
What do you call grass that grows in space?
Astro-turf.
The only reason Stephen Hawking died was because he saw the end.
Steven Hawking lost the Wi-Fi connection on March 14, 2018.
It’s so sad how Stephen Hawking was just rolling too far away from the outlet. RIP :(
What was Stephen Hawking's pet?
A hawk.
Uranus is blue.
We used to have a tail on the back... and now it moves forward.
Stephen Hawking couldn't drink anything.
He'd break if he did.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words? The Microsoft shutdown sound.
Who would win in a race, Stephen Hawking or a turtle?
The turtle, because it can walk.
My wife walked in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."
A science teacher got on the Space Shuttle Challenger after winning a contest out of 11,000 other teachers.
Imagine being one of the losing teachers in that contest, watching the Space Shuttle Challenger, and thinking, "Talking about dodging a bullet!"
Person 1: Wasn’t Stephen Hawking on X Factor?
Person 2: No, why would he be on X Factor?
Person 1: For dancing.