Science jokes

If gravity pulls things down at 9.8 m/s squared, why did the emo kid not come down?

Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he got bummed too hard in the shower.

What is mad cow disease?

2+2+67+23= Now calculate the mass of the Solar system. Be these questions these days.

In my science class we were watching a video, and for no reason at all, it started talking about Black Lives Matter, and my friend leaned over and whispered, “White lives matter more!”

My wife walked in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."

What was Stephen Hawking's least favorite invention? The walkie-talkie.

Hey there, wanna buy some chromosomes?

Person 1: Wasn’t Stephen Hawking on X Factor?

Person 2: No, why would he be on X Factor?

Person 1: For dancing.

A science teacher got on the Space Shuttle Challenger after winning a contest out of 11,000 other teachers.

Imagine being one of the losing teachers in that contest, watching the Space Shuttle Challenger, and thinking, "Talking about dodging a bullet!"

Stephen Hawking was in a house fire. When he got out, people called him "Hot Wheels."

Did you hear about the astronaut that stepped in gum and got stuck?

He got stuck in orbit! Hehhehe.

How does Stephen Hawking have sex?

Enter, backspace. Enter, backspace.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a tap?

The tap can run.

I tried to catch fog, but sadly, I missed.

A broken pencil tried to break the laws of physics. It wasn't very sharp.

What's a zig zag and made of wood?

Stephen's coffin.

Why is Stephen Hawking so square headed? Because he forgot to shut Minecraft down!

What was Stephen Hawking's pet?

A hawk.

What were Stephen Hawking's last words? The Microsoft shutdown sound.