Science jokes
What does Stephen Hawking and a prostitute have in common?
They both charge.
What is mad cow disease?
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Beef stroganoff.
When you die, scientists will preserve your skull.
Yo forehead is so big, Albert Einstein couldn’t figure out the measurement of it!
What do you call grass that grows in space?
Astro-turf.
How does Stephen Hawking have sex?
Enter, backspace. Enter, backspace.
My wife walked in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."
What was Stephen Hawking's least favorite invention? The walkie-talkie.
A science teacher got on the Space Shuttle Challenger after winning a contest out of 11,000 other teachers.
Imagine being one of the losing teachers in that contest, watching the Space Shuttle Challenger, and thinking, "Talking about dodging a bullet!"
Hey there, wanna buy some chromosomes?
Stephen Hawking was in a house fire. When he got out, people called him "Hot Wheels."
Stephen Hawking couldn't drink anything.
He'd break if he did.
Water to his Dad, Steam: Hi, Dad, I mist you!
Steam: double-you(w). aich(h). ay(a). tee(t)?
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His power went out.
Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?
Neither has he.
What's a zig zag and made of wood?
Stephen's coffin.
Why is Stephen Hawking so square headed? Because he forgot to shut Minecraft down!
A broken pencil tried to break the laws of physics. It wasn't very sharp.
What did the earthquake say when it was done? Sorry, my fault!