Science jokes
What do stomata use to fill their pools?
Chlor-ine.
Why did Greg go mad? Because Stephen stalked him.
A broken pencil tried to break the laws of physics. It wasn't very sharp.
What was Stephen Hawking's pet?
A hawk.
Your hairline is so big, not even a black hole can eat it!
What did Omnicron say to Delta?
"Same race, bud, different evolution."
"SIX FEET AWAY, OMNI! SIX FEET AWAY!"
Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he got bummed too hard in the shower.
Yo forehead is so big, Albert Einstein couldn’t figure out the measurement of it!
What do you call grass that grows in space?
Astro-turf.
Who would win in a race, Stephen Hawking or a turtle?
The turtle, because it can walk.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Beef stroganoff.
When you die, scientists will preserve your skull.
What does Stephen Hawking and a prostitute have in common?
They both charge.
If gravity pulls things down at 9.8 m/s squared, why did the emo kid not come down?
What is mad cow disease?
A science teacher got on the Space Shuttle Challenger after winning a contest out of 11,000 other teachers.
Imagine being one of the losing teachers in that contest, watching the Space Shuttle Challenger, and thinking, "Talking about dodging a bullet!"
Person 1: Wasn’t Stephen Hawking on X Factor?
Person 2: No, why would he be on X Factor?
Person 1: For dancing.
My wife walked in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."
What was Stephen Hawking's least favorite invention? The walkie-talkie.
Stephen Hawking was in a house fire. When he got out, people called him "Hot Wheels."