Shower thought: If everyone had schizophrenia, no one would know we had schizophrenia or know what it is!
Fat kids are so fat, they have their own gravitational pull.
Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.
Why should you never trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
What's black and sits on top of a staircase?
Stephen Hawking's after a house fire.
If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
Why did the weatherman’s cheeks turn pink?
He saw the climate change.
Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?
What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.
What’s better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.
Actually, Iron Man is female.
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.
How do flat-earthers travel?
On a plane.
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
......
What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.
Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈
A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"
The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
Where does bad light end up at?
In prism.
