Science jokes
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?
Rock and Roll.
What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.
I only got one question wrong on my biology test yesterday.
The question was, "What is most commonly found in a cell?"
Apparently, "Black People" wasn't the right answer.
Shower thought: If everyone had schizophrenia, no one would know we had schizophrenia or know what it is!
Fat kids are so fat, they have their own gravitational pull.
Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.
Why should you never trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
What's black and sits on top of a staircase?
Stephen Hawking's after a house fire.
If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
Why did the weatherman’s cheeks turn pink?
He saw the climate change.
Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?
What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.
What’s better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.
Actually, Iron Man is female.
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.
How do flat-earthers travel?
On a plane.
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
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