At first, I was a boy trapped in a girl's body, then I was born.
NotAKiller AreYouACop?
What's the most expensive haircut? Chemotherapy
Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant I asked the waiter "People under 12 eat free right" the water confirmed that yes people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "but I'm 13.
My wife walk in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."
My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters. I asked him what his book was about and he said "Oh, It's autobiography."
My teacher asked everyone how tall their grandparents were, I responded "My grandpa is 5ft 10, and my grandma is -6ft."
What's an orphan's favourite movie? Home Alone
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.
What's the difference between a black person and an apple? An apple chooses to hang.
What's the difference between a Cop and a bullet? When a bullet kills someone it gets fired.
Why do orphans miss half their basketball season? Cause' they don't have home games.
Doctor: I have bad news and really bad news. Patient: what's the bad news? Doctor: you have 24 hours to live. Patient: What's the really bad news? Doctor: I forgot to tell you yesterday.
What's the difference between my dad and Nemo? Don't know still haven't found them.
You'd think the Catholic Church would be thankful for condoms, less DNA evidence.