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Puns

Bob

A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked his what he was suppose to be. He answered," A turtle." 'Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again. The boy answered, " it’s Michelle."

Puns

Anonymous

What do you call a paralyzed turtle?

Shell Shocked

Octopus

Anonymous

i like turtles

Gas

Anonymous

What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?

He went to the Shell station.

Legs

Anonymous

Where do you find a turtle with no legs?

Right where you left it.

Puns

Derplaney

One day a snail got robbed by 2 turtles, once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, Snail said “I dont know it all happed to fast”!

Capital

Anonymous

i like turtles

Phone

Daniel King

Why was the turtle 🐢 looking at her phone?

She wanted to take a shellfie.

Common

Anonymous

What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? – They both want to get there before the hare does.

Use

Daniel King

What do turtles 🐢 use to communicate?

A shellphone!

Snail

AmIAJokeToYou??

A turtle was walking down the street when all of a sudden a snail came up to him and robbed him. When the policemen showed up and asked him what happened, he responded ‘’ I don’t know it all happened so fast’’.

Snail

Anonymous

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

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Difference

Ketchup

Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?

A: He gave her a ring.

Q: What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery?

A: Knead for Speed.

Q: Why is Santa good at karate?

A: He has a black belt.

Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?

A: Beast Buy.

Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?

A: Let’s stick together.

Q: Why did the turkey join a band?

A: So he could use his drumsticks.

Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport?

A: Figure skating.

Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?

A: Beast Buy.

Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?

A: Let’s stick together.

Q: Why did the turkey join a band?

A: So he could use his drumsticks.

Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport?

A: Figure skating.

Q: What’s a firefly’s favorite dance?

A: The glitterbug.

Q: Why are eyeshadow, lipstick, and mascara never mad at each other?

A: Because they always make-up

via GIPHY

Q: Where do roses sleep at night?

A: In their flowerbed

Q: Why was the show bad at gymnastics?

A: She was a flip-flop

Q: What should you wear to a tea party?

A: A t-shirt

Q: What’s rain’s favorite accessory?

A: A rainbow

Q: Where does a sink go dancing?

A: The Dish-co

Q: What’s a princess’s favorite time?

A: Knight time.

Q: Why did the Genie get mad?

A: Because he was rubbed the wrong way.

Q: What’s a ballerina’s favorite type of bread?

A: A bun.

Q: What kind of dance was the frog prince best at?

A: Hip hop.

Q: What do bunnies like to do at the mall?

A: Shop ‘til they hop.

via GIPHY

Q: How did the beauty school student do on her manicure test?

A: She nailed it.

Q: What is corn’s favorite music?

A: Pop.

Q: Why can’t Monday lift Saturday?

A: It’s a weak day.

Q: Why was the politician out of breath?

A: He was running for office.

Q: What is a soccer player’s favorite chemical element?

A: Goooooooooooold!

Q: Why did the fastest cat in class get kicked out of school?

A: He was a cheetah.

Q: Which state has the greatest number of jokes?

A: Pennsylvania.

Q: Where is the best place to sit when a submarine is diving?

A: Inside.

Q: Why did the lawyer show up in court in his underwear?

A: He forgot his lawsuit.

Q: Why was the teenager no longer allowed online without a license?

A: He crashed the computer

via GIPHY

Q: What’s a ball that you don’t throw, shoot, eat, spit, bounce, or catch?

A: An eyeball.

Q: What do turtles, eggs, and beaches all have?

A: Shells.

Q: What time of year do people get injured the most?

A: In the fall.

Q: Why did the quarterback take the hardest classes?

A: Because he knew he would pass.

Q: Why did the musician throw away her table?

A: Because it was flat.

Q: Why didn’t the farmer’s son study medicine?

A: Because he wanted to go into a different field?

Q: What is the math teacher’s favorite dessert?

A: Pi

Q: Why was the princess in the emergency r

Bad

Anonymous

What do you call a stupid turtle?- retorted

Orphan

Anonymous

I like turtles

Friend

Anonymous

What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle??

Getting them to come out of their shell.

Snail

That one person

A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came he asked what happened, the turtle responded ‘’ I don’t know, it all happened so fast’’.

Shell

PJ Masks

What pictures did turtles take? Shell-fies!

Puns

Mudit

What kind of pictures do turtles take? Shelfies

Puns

Anonymous

what’s a turtles favorite thrill ride shell shock

Adoption

OUR BOIZ WITH FOOT CREAM

Why did the turtle cross the road? We don’t know yet OOF dislike plz I have no life XD All of these jokes are DED sub to pewdipie

Puns

Anonymous

Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the “ shell” station.

Woman

Anonymous

One day a snail got robbed by two turtles. The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles)

End

Anonymous

… fuck the turtles… THE END

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