*titanic was sinking* Passenger: hey captain how far way are we Captain: two miles Passenger: which way are we going? Captain: down

Is it just me or is the main heading image for this page an image of two dead people on the cement?? Hmmmmm thats a bit susssssssssssssssssssssssss

Why did Mozart hate all of his chickens? When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”

Never break someone’s heart. They only have one. Break their bones instead. They have 206 of them.

Ever looked at a cemetery and thought, wow, Heaven and hell must be crowded.

Patient: Sorry I'm so nervous, this is my first surgery.

Doctor: Oh don't worry, mine too!!

Why did Cleopatra bathe in milk? She couldn’t find a cow tall enough to have a shower.