My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister’s panties. I don’t know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearimg them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way it made the funeral a bit awkward.

Why are the twin towers mad?

They ordered pepperoni pizza but all they got was plain.

An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. ¨You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you?¨ The Cuban simply says, ¨See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap.¨ The other passengers are reassured and respond with, ¨Oh, OK.¨

The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. ¨You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you?¨ The Russian simply states, ¨See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap.¨ Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, ¨Ah, yes! Of course.¨

The American scratches his head and goes, ¨I think I see the pattern here.¨ So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window!¨

Why was Stephen hawkings wife mad at

She cought him having an afair with his shoulder

What do you call shaving a crazy sheep? – Shear madness.

Woman one: I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell! Woman two: Did that work? Woman one: Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house.

Two cows are out grazing in the field. One cow says to the other cow, “Aren’t you worried about this mad cow disease that’s been going around?” The other cow replied, “Why would I be worried about mad cow disease? I’m a rabbit!”

Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral?

While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.

8008135 is my favorite number. The worst ratio is 6:9. And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?’ Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six two.

Why were the Twin Towers mad, because they ordered pepperoni pizza but all they got was plane.

if you ever get mad at a person that cramppled their leg. don’t forget that they can hide but they cant run.

Why was the sun ☀️ mad at the clouds ☁️?

Because the clouds kept throwing shades.

one day I was walking around, then saw this mom mad at her kid and screamed " YoUr AdOpTeD!" he said “yeah I know my REAL mommy is still at home with daddy.”

If you ever get Mad, just hit an orphan

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

I got mad at my sister’s boyfriend so I fucked his girl

My sister’s bf is mad at me cuz I fucked his girl

An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas. “I don’t understand it, Doc”, she said, “I have this terrible, terrible gas”. “Thankfully”, she added, “they are at least silent when I fart”. Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him. The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. “I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!”, she yelled. The doctor said, “well, now that we’ve solved your hearing problem, let’s see what we can do about that gas”.

Girls Are Yummy Stupid

Are Really Erectable

Tasty Honey Ejaculable

Booty Everything Sucking Titties

Gays don’t be mad, read the first letter of every word :D

why is the sun mad at the clouds?The clouds keep throwing shade.

your breath is so hot it mad the chicgo fire.

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