Madness

Madness Jokes

My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister's panties. I don't know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearimg them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way it made the funeral a bit awkward.

Woman one: I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell! Woman two: Did that work? Woman one: Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house.

An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas. "I don't understand it, Doc", she said, "I have this terrible, terrible gas". "Thankfully", she added, "they are at least silent when I fart". Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him. The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. "I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!", she yelled. The doctor said, "well, now that we've solved your hearing problem, let's see what we can do about that gas".

So I’m not sure if it’s a joke but I thought it was funny. So imagine u try to die by shooting yourself but you sneeze and pull the trigger... idk about you but I would’ve been mad. Because wtf I wasn’t readyyyy

So I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company. Everyone is mad but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.

me. mom would you get mad at me for something i didn't do. mom. no. me ok good i didn't do my homework

Jack and jill went up the hill to have a little fun jack got mad kicked jill in the ass because she couldn't make him cum

Two brothers play on the street, one of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is they go to their mum and asks what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately. Guys go back to the yard surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: why did mum got so angry, the other: i have no idea thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside.

Father : "That's great son. Who is she?"

Son: "It's Tina, the neighbor's daughter".

Father : "Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister."

The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later

Son : "Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!"

Father : "That's great son. Who is she?"

Son: "It's Peny, the other neighbor's daughter."

Father : "Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that. Peny is also your sister."

This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying.

Son : "Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because daddy is their father!"

The mother hugs him affectionately and says:

"My love, you can date whoever you want. Don't listen to him. He is not your Father."!!!

Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral?

While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.

3

I'm so mad I got arrested for rape even though the girl never said no. The prosecution said she was mute but how was I supposed to know she never told me.

if you ever get mad at a person that cramppled their leg. don't forget that they can hide but they cant run.

A guy is sitting at a bar, when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!”