Pool jokes
Why are dolphins so smart?
Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!
Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool?
It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.
I got caught peeing in the pool.
The lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in!
What did the tree wear to the pool party 🥳?
Swimming trunks.
Papyrus: Nyhe heh heh! I got a swim suit! And it even says cool dude!
Sans: I guess now it says pool dude ;)
Papyrus: SSSSAAAAANNNNSSSS!
A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."
My son asked for a swimming pool so I got him a ant 🐜🐜🐜 pool.
What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool?
The dry bear.
Pool testing 123.
How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.
What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?
A bath bomb.
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
What pool never runs dry?
The one on the Titanic.
Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
What do chickens play in the pool? Marco Polo.
In India, whoever lives facing the roadside, this is for them.
Whenever it starts raining heavily, our homes turn into pool-facing homes because the roads disappear.
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
What's yellow and blue and found at the bottom of a pool? A baby with slashed floaties.
"Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."
"Why not?"
"He keeps peeing in the pool."
"Well, all kids pee in the pool."
"Not from the diving board!"
I like my women like I like my diving pool:
Deep and wet.