Pool Jokes

Your dad

A man walks into a bar, he takes a seat and asks the barmen if he wanted to hear a blonde joke, the barmen replies before you tell this joke I want to tell you something, see the women over there, she is a black belt in karate, she's blonde , see the bouncer over there he is also a blonde, see the chick over there with that pool que she is also blonde, also I have a shotgun behind the bar i'm blonde, so do you still want to tell your joke? He replies f**k that I ain't explaining the joke 4 times.

in Sea

why are dolphins so smart? Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!


Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. -- I gave him a glass of water.

Isaiah Kellar

What pool never runs dry? The one on the Titanic.


Did you know the pool in the Titanic is still full


"Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."

"Why not?"

"He keeps peeing in the pool."

"Well, all kids pee in the pool."

"Not from the diving board!"

Daniel King
in Fruit

Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool?

It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.

in Old

What do chickens play in the pool? Marco Polo


Looks like the gene pool in your family is about three inches deep

in Terrorism

What do you call a terrorist in a kids swimming pool

A bath bomb


Did you know Hellen Keller has a pool? Neither did she.


I got caught peeing in the pool

The lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in


What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?

A baby with burst armbands

in Alligator

A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators, One night he has a party and says,"whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says,"wow I can't believe you did it! So whats your prize?" the guy says,"I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the B@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"


Q:How do you make a pool table laugh A:Tickle it’s balls


I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!

Kim Jong Un

What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?



What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? -- A pool table.

Daniel King
in Tree

What did the tree wear to the pool party 🥳?

Swimming trunks.

in Alabama

alabama gene pools are so shallow when they freeze over it's just snow