Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. – I gave him a glass of water.

A man walks into a bar, he takes a seat and asks the barmen if he wanted to hear a blonde joke, the barmen replies before you tell this joke I want to tell you something, see the women over there, she is a black belt in karate, she’s blonde , see the bouncer over there he is also a blonde, see the chick over there with that pool que she is also blonde, also I have a shotgun behind the bar i’m blonde, so do you still want to tell your joke? He replies f**k that I ain’t explaining the joke 4 times.

why are dolphins so smart? Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!

Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool?

It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.

What pool never runs dry? The one on the Titanic.

Did you know the pool in the Titanic is still full

What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool?

The dry bear.

Did you know Hellen Keller has a pool? Neither did she.

Looks like the gene pool in your family is about three inches deep

What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?

Posiedown.

What’s green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? – A pool table.

A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators, One night he has a party and says,“whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars.” some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says,“wow I can’t believe you did it! So whats your prize?” the guy says,“I don’t care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the B@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!”

What’s big, green, has four legs and if it falls out of a tree it can kill you?

A pool table.

How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13 foot deep pool.

How do drown a Blonde… you put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool

How to kill a blond put a scratch & sniff in a pool]

one day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. she picks it up "Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby." Sally says, “No, shes upstairs with Uncle john” “Uncle john? i don’t know an Uncle John.” “no, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy” “no i’m sure there’s no one named Uncle John in our family.” “Okay, but why did you call?” Says Sally. “Ummm no reason, just tell mommy that daddy’s pulling into the driveway right now.” “Okay daddy!”

long pause

"Okay daddy! I did it!’ “Great job Sally! What did she says?”

“Mommy said OH FU… and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. shes now resting it looks like… then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter…”

then dad replies “Swimming pool? we dont have a…is this 468-1843?”

How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? 7 when i tried

Q:How do you make a pool table laugh A:Tickle it’s balls

What do you call a pool full of handicapped people

Vegetable soup

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