Pool jokes
What do chickens play in the pool? Marco Polo.
Why are dolphins so smart?
Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!
How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?
A blender.
How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.
A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators. One night he has a party and says, "Whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." Some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says, "Wow, I can't believe you did it! So what's your prize?" The guy says, "I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the b@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"
Did you know the pool in the Titanic is still full?
"Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."
"Why not?"
"He keeps peeing in the pool."
"Well, all kids pee in the pool."
"Not from the diving board!"
How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?
"Please get out of the pool."
Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool?
It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.
Roses are red, I am very cool, You, on the other hand, Need to drown yourself in a pool.
Yo mama, why do you have to jump in the pool as soon as I can find the water on Mario? I mean, Mario jump to Mars!
What do stomata use to fill their pools?
Chlor-ine.
A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."
What do you call blue and orange at the bottom of a pool?
A baby with flat armbands!
What pool never runs dry?
The one on the Titanic.
Why did Dad say no to the pool? Because he can't swim.
Looks like the gene pool in your family is about three inches deep.
Your gene pool is more like a gene puddle.
I got caught peeing in the pool.
The lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in!
My son asked for a swimming pool so I got him a ant 🐜🐜🐜 pool.