Pool jokes
Why are dolphins so smart?
Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!
Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool? It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.
I got caught peeing in the pool.
The lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in!
Papyrus: Nyhe heh heh! I got a swim suit! And it even says cool dude!
Sans: I guess now it says pool dude ;)
Papyrus: SSSSAAAAANNNNSSSS!
Pool testing 123.
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
What did the tree wear to the pool party 🥳?
Swimming trunks.
A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."
What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool? The dry bear.
"Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."
"Why not?"
"He keeps peeing in the pool."
"Well, all kids pee in the pool."
"Not from the diving board!"
What's yellow and blue and found at the bottom of a pool? A baby with slashed floaties.
Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?
A: Tickle its balls.
In India, whoever lives facing the roadside, this is for them.
Whenever it starts raining heavily, our homes turn into pool-facing homes because the roads disappear.
What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?
A bath bomb.
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
My son asked for a swimming pool so I got him a ant 🐜🐜🐜 pool.
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
What pool never runs dry?
The one on the Titanic.
What do chickens play in the pool? Marco Polo.
Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.