Bar

Your dad

A man walks into a bar, he takes a seat and asks the barmen if he wanted to hear a blonde joke, the barmen replies before you tell this joke I want to tell you something, see the women over there, she is a black belt in karate, she’s blonde , see the bouncer over there he is also a blonde, see the chick over there with that pool que she is also blonde, also I have a shotgun behind the bar i’m blonde, so do you still want to tell your joke? He replies f**k that I ain’t explaining the joke 4 times.

7

Man

Anonymous

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. – I gave him a glass of water.

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Fruit

Daniel King

Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool?

It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.

Titanic

Isaiah Kellar

What pool never runs dry? The one on the Titanic.

4

Train

Anonymous

why are dolphins so smart? Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!

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Titanic

Anonymous

Did you know the pool in the Titanic is still full

1

Bomb

Anonymous

What do you call a terrorist in a kids swimming pool

A bath bomb

Deep

Anonymous

Looks like the gene pool in your family is about three inches deep

Smell

Anonymous

how do u get a blonde to drown u tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird

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Keller

Benardo

Did you know Hellen Keller has a pool? Neither did she.

3

Chicken

Stephanie

What do chickens play in the pool? Marco Polo

Win

Kim Jong Un

What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?

Posiedown.

Bear

B-rett

What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool?

The dry bear.

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Green

Anonymous

What’s green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? – A pool table.

0

Baby

Anonymous

What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?

A baby with burst armbands

Foot

Anonymous

How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13 foot deep pool.

0

Poor

TheJoker

There is a rich child and a poor child. The rich child invites the poor child to his house and shows him all the toys and tells him: Look at what a beautiful radio-controlled airplane I have it,but you don’t have it because you are poor! The poor child answers:You’re right it’s very nice but i’have one thing that you don’t have! The Rich child then invites him into the garden and shows him the swimming pool, the trampoline and all the other games that can be done outdoors and tells ti the pope child: looks that beautiful swimming pool I have is very big you don’t have it because you are poor! and the poor child says: Beautiful is really beautiful! But one thing that you don’t have. So the rich child feels bad he says: Wait but I’m rich, how is it possible? I have everything i want because I’m rich.Why you have something that I don’t have? And the poor child says : I have cancer!

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Fat

JUSTIN

Yo mama so fat! when she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!!!

0

Baby

Bri

What do you call blue and orange at the bottom of a pool

-a baby with flat armbands-

0

Name

jimmidy cricket

one day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. she picks it up "Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby." Sally says, “No, shes upstairs with Uncle john” “Uncle john? i don’t know an Uncle John.” “no, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy” “no i’m sure there’s no one named Uncle John in our family.” “Okay, but why did you call?” Says Sally. “Ummm no reason, just tell mommy that daddy’s pulling into the driveway right now.” “Okay daddy!”

long pause

"Okay daddy! I did it!’ “Great job Sally! What did she says?”

“Mommy said OH FU… and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. shes now resting it looks like… then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter…”

then dad replies “Swimming pool? we dont have a…is this 468-1843?”