Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water?
Who else would think of adding gas?
The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
What do you call a piece of tech that acts emo?
Cutting-edge Technology.
When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: "You might want to sit down for this."
Q: What was the orphan's first phone?
A: The iPhone X because it had no home button.
New Teslas don't come with a new car smell; they come with an Elon Musk.
I started selling landmines disguised as prayer mats.
Prophets are through the roof!
Surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that their arms don't get tired.
The shovel is a ground breaking invention.
*Slaps and laughs*
So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...
...their new slogan?
The Quicker Pecker Upper.
Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.
Apple made a new product for Chinese people called the iOpener.
I just heard that the inventor of the autocorrect died the other day.
May he rest in pizza.
Stephen Hawking:
Q: Who Made Stephen Hawkins' Wheel Chair?
A:) Tesla
"We've invented the spade!"
"Oh wow, this is ground-breaking!"
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
For one of the most highly regarded minds on the planet it is a shame he could not create a longer lasting battery.
New Gen iPhones are designed for orphans, cause they donβt need a home button
Apple tried to make a car, but it had no windows ;)
I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldnβt support Windows.
