Science jokes
What do you call dogs dressed as dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark!
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
Why does Stephen Hawking have the voice of an angel?
Because no one has ever heard an angel talk.
What goes up but never comes down?
Water in Australia.
If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......
Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga
YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!
My favorite planet is Saturn because it is tight next to Uranus.
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.
What is the thirstiest ocean in the world?
The Gulf of Mexico lol!
I didn’t know Stephen Hawking died. Oh god, it must have been when I disconnected the Wi-Fi!
I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
What did Steven Hawking say?
Nothing.
Rocks rock and crack!
It's said Duracell batteries are supposed to last 75 years, well Stephen, here you are.
Stephen Hawking drove too far from the wall and unplugged.
He also forgot to pay the power bill.
If you replaced the boss in Portal with a boy, you would hear Stephen Hawking.
I only got one question wrong on my biology test yesterday.
The question was, "What is most commonly found in a cell?"
Apparently, "Black People" wasn't the right answer.
Your forehead is so big NASA thought it was Mars.
An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"
What keeps you breathing when you're on Earth?
I don't know. I suffocated at birth.
A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?
The feather, because the rope stopped the child.