A man walks into a zoo. The only animal was a dog.
It was a shih tzu.
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
My dog is pregnant. I'm gonna be a... I don't know?
Ohhh, an owner.
There once was a brother and a sister. So, one night, it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brother's room and asks, "Can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared?" The brother replies with, "Yeah, sure, but just don't tell Mom." So the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boy's penis and asks, "What's that?" And the boy replies with, "That's my pet snake." And the girl asks, "Can I pet it?" And the boy says, "Sure, just don't tell Mom." And the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks, "What happened?" And the girl said, "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit its head off."
I cried when my dad cut up onions. Onions was a good dog.
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
What do you call a house with dog hair?
A shed.
I had a dog with an eating disorder.
He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.
Whenever I see a dog video, I just take a second to press paws.
If a cat or a dog plays Among Us, it will wanna be the impawstor.
You got a black cat. He was bad luck. Everyone left you and you comited suicide. What a CATastrophe.
What’s the difference between a cat and a frog A cat has 9 lives and a frog croaks every day
My cat got in a fight. It was a catastrophe.
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday. Oh, don't worry, he's okay now. But the vet charged me six quid.
I asked my dog this morning how her weeks been going- she said "ruff". I feel her you know? I feel her.
Very sad today found my pet mouse ' Elvis ' dead this morning, he was caught in a trap .
One day my pet bark at me and so I got scared anWas my dad actually it was weird you should’ve saw him and so the goes on in the day because he likes to run around The house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱
what was Steven hawking pet?
a hawk.
What did the bounty hunter call his favourite dog. His bobba pet
I wanted to visit my pet fish, but it was hard to sea it through the darkness (?)
