Why can't orphans learn about Ancient Egypt? Because they won't know what a mummy is.
New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."
Students: "OOF"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Your parents."
*School shooting happens*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk*
American student: "First time?"
Teacher:Kids what does a chicken give you
Students: Eggs
Teacher: Very good now what does the pig give you
Kids: Bacon
Teacher: Excellent now what does the fat cow give you
Kids: Homework
Why can’t an orphan get suspended or expelled from school? Because they need to contact parents.
Average Kid: brings mp3 to school
Rich Kid: Brings mp4 to school
Quiet Kid: Brings an mp5
Why doesn't the Sun go to college? -- Because it has a million degrees.
One day I came home from school and said to my dad 'I got expelled from school today' he said ' how' I said I threw my book at the teacher' he asked why' I told him we were doing an anti-bullying program and my teacher said words can't hurt me so I threw my dictionary at her. '
I got kicked out of Social Studies class when my teacher made us watch a women's rights documentary. When he asked us what the genre of the film was, I put my hand up and said "Fiction".
What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.
What is the part of school with all the autistic called? Downtown
i got sent out of a library for putting a womens rights book in the fiction section.
Stephen hawkings is such a bad role model for our kids
He only ever looks one way when crossing the street
What's a Mexican's least favorite lesson in art? Drawing border lines.
A teacher asked his students a math question.
"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"
After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.
"One dollar!" she said.
Remember, kids: the school shooter can't get you if YOU are the shooter.
If I make a summer camp for kids with concentration problems will it be a Concentration Camp?
My teacher gave us an assignment and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I answered "Happy". The teacher said I didn't understand the test, I said to her that she didn't understand life
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
A professor was talking about the american dream. then, he asked the german exchange student if there was a german dream, to which the student replies "we did, but no one liked it."
