Science jokes
2+2+67+23= Now calculate the mass of the Solar system. Be these questions these days.
In my science class we were watching a video, and for no reason at all, it started talking about Black Lives Matter, and my friend leaned over and whispered, “White lives matter more!”
Who would win in a race, Stephen Hawking or a turtle?
The turtle, because it can walk.
If gravity pulls things down at 9.8 m/s squared, why did the emo kid not come down?
What does Stephen Hawking and a prostitute have in common?
They both charge.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he got bummed too hard in the shower.
What is mad cow disease?
When you die, scientists will preserve your skull.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Beef stroganoff.
Yo forehead is so big, Albert Einstein couldn’t figure out the measurement of it!
What do you call grass that grows in space?
Astro-turf.
My wife walked in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."
A science teacher got on the Space Shuttle Challenger after winning a contest out of 11,000 other teachers.
Imagine being one of the losing teachers in that contest, watching the Space Shuttle Challenger, and thinking, "Talking about dodging a bullet!"
Person 1: Wasn’t Stephen Hawking on X Factor?
Person 2: No, why would he be on X Factor?
Person 1: For dancing.
Hey there, wanna buy some chromosomes?
Stephen Hawking was in a house fire. When he got out, people called him "Hot Wheels."
What was Stephen Hawking's least favorite invention? The walkie-talkie.
How does Stephen Hawking have sex?
Enter, backspace. Enter, backspace.
Stephen Hawking couldn't drink anything.
He'd break if he did.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words? The Microsoft shutdown sound.