Technology jokes

Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.

What do depressed people and Apple's have in common?

They both hang from trees.

Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians? Because they can’t find the motherboard.

If I went to Walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.

Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.

What do you call a piece of tech that acts emo?

Cutting-edge Technology.

My friend asked, "What's that on your arm?" I replied, "Oh, this? I didn't have enough storage on my phone to download Fruit Ninja so I had to improvise a little bit."

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.

My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “We'll see about that.” Then I unplugged his life support.

A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is okay to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.

What were Stephen Hawking's last words?

The Windows XP log out sound.

When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, "You use way too much technology!" Jim then said, "No, YOU use too much technology!" and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? Stephen can't walkie and Stephen can't talkie.

When you send nudes to your Roblox gf and your uncle’s phone sounds with a text tone...

The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? He can’t walkie or talkie.

I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them.

Your forehead is so big that you dream in 4K.

Q: Why can't science be combined with religion?

A: 'Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.

If I'm the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a guardian of the galaxy?