My family is like a treasure...
You need a map and shovel to find them.
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.
Q: Why can't science be combined with religion?
A: Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them
As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life change when I found out she was under the horse.
Did you know when scientists discovered atoms could split it blew them all away?
your hairline is like the universe still waiting to be discovered
One man's trash is another man's treasure.... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted
What's worst then finding 10 babys in 10 dumpsters??
Finding 1 baby in 10 dumpsters
my new girl friend is a porn star she would probably kill me if she found out
SON: “Mommy, I found Daddy!” MOM: “What did I tell you about digging in the garden?”
"Son, I found a condom in your room."
"Gee, thanks, Grandpa!"
"Why are you calling me Grandpa?"
"Because I couldn't find it yesterday."
Kid: what is the biggest mistake you made in your life. Parents: go look above the bathroom sink *kid goes and looks but then he reilises
They say they found water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my co-workers found gold. I said AU, bring that over here!
My kids found me in the family tree. I was hanging there for hours.
How do we know that Princess Diana had dandruff...
Because they found her head and shoulders in the glovebox.
Astronauts just found water on mars! Mars: 1 Africa: 0
You're so fat, astronomers discovered a planet larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.
Sir William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781, 200 years before you were born. How did he do that??
