Why do boys feel safer at Ronald McDonald's House than Neverland Ranch?
Ronald McDonald's doesn't put his meat between boys' buns.
Safety Jokes
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
I was driving through a neighborhood when I saw a sign that said "Autistic Child Zone." Then I thought to myself, "Oh shit, that wasn't a dog!"
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀
Do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening.
Put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs.
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
What's yellow and can't float?
A school bus full of children.
A young teen was walking home from school and having a nice day.
She gets home, eats, showers, and heads to her room. The young teen hears her mother say something. Not sure what she said, the girl replies with "ok."
The young teen was gonna head to bed, wondering when her mom was gonna come in and say goodnight. She lays in bed, but then she hears her mom's voice say, "Hunny, I'm home." She doesn't bother to say ok.
Later, when she decides to sleep, she gets a message from her mom saying to unlock the door, that she lost her keys. :)
Q: Why did Sally survive the car accident?
A: She hit an ambulance.
How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off.
Are you a toaster, because I want to have a bath with you.
Toaster + Bath = The ultimate bath bomb!
The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.
Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!
Q: What happens to KID who NAPs near a stranger?
A: He gets KID-NAPPED (kidnapped).
Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
Why did the elephant cross the road? It didn't see the cars.
Don't drink and park.
Accidents cause people.
I give props to pedophiles.
They always go slow in the school zones.
