Safety jokes
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?
To get them in his van.
There is one good part about paedophiles... they go slow in school zones.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the car.
People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn't care about her life.
I don't care about her life either hahahaha!! :)
Always practice safe sex: paint an X on the sheep that kick.
Memes
Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?
In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. š¢
What do you call a kid that's in the fire? Hot Wheels.
Random guy: Hi, how old are you?
Me: 15
The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.
Me: Do you know what else is a number?
The guy: What?
Me: 911
What's yellow and can't swim but screams when it goes under?
A school bus full of kids.
What time is it when you can drive home from phone?
Friends are very important. I have lots of friends in very high places. I hope the police can talk them down!
When the autistic kid brings a gun to school and thinks itās a dart gun.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives.
Condoms 99 percent effective.
Birth control 99 percent effective.
Etc.
Just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time (only cost 20 years in jail ;)
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? "You're too young to smoke."
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
You donāt need a parachute to go skydiving, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
A fire broke out at the circus, it was intense.
Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"
Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"
Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"