Safety jokes
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?
To get them in his van.
There is one good part about paedophiles... they go slow in school zones.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the car.
People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn't care about her life.
I don't care about her life either hahahaha!! :)
Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?
In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢
Memes
Always practice safe sex: paint an X on the sheep that kick.
Random guy: Hi, how old are you?
Me: 15
The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.
Me: Do you know what else is a number?
The guy: What?
Me: 911
What do you call a kid that's in the fire? Hot Wheels.
What's yellow and can't swim but screams when it goes under?
A school bus full of kids.
What time is it when you can drive home from phone?
Friends are very important. I have lots of friends in very high places. I hope the police can talk them down!
When the autistic kid brings a gun to school and thinks it’s a dart gun.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives.
Condoms 99 percent effective.
Birth control 99 percent effective.
Etc.
Just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time (only cost 20 years in jail ;)
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? "You're too young to smoke."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
Roses are red,
my life is a disaster,
the children are fast,
but the combine is F A S T E R!
It is not funny about kidnapping.
Why did the wall fall over?
A drunk driver hit it going 90mph and died.