roses are red violets are blue if you ever feel alone i'm always watching you
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: *no one stands up* Teacher: Oh c'mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you're dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you're standing alone.
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy “hey mister its getting dark out and I’m scared” Man “how do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone”
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee.
Expresso Expresso, no more depresso!
Q:Do you know why people dont like abortion jokes? A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptyness inside.
Anyone else on here looking at depressing jokes to make themselves feel better? Not that it's working, but it's nice to know that I'm not alone. Well, enough with the sob story, I gotta go get my razors. See ya in the long run.
I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...
But now I don't know what to do with the letters.
I won't reply on every jokes today because I want to say thanks (to everyone) for making funny jokes here... Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes, its makes me happy and its making me less anxious. I am really stressed on my school works and everything, I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertain me and making me laugh so hard. *I apologize for my grammar
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.
How do Mexicans feel about Trump's wall? -- They'll get over it.
Why couldn't the emo kid hang himself?
After eating through his feelings the belt wouldn't fit around his neck
When the school shooter walks by the emo kid and doesn’t feel his gun anymore.
My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help mean understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So me with my horrible humor decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, "Here you are a fine African meal." then everybody looked at me in disappointment and then I continued to say, "what poor taste?"
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?
I feel like a kid again.
How you feel when you slit yourself once: :( How you feel when you slit yourself more than once: <:( How you feel when you slit yourself everyday: *dead inside*
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!". And the doctor replied, "I know. I amputated you arms."
