The 100+ Best Kitchen Jokes

If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it?

The man, because he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.

I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry.

Onions was a good dog.

Where do feminists go when they die "hell's kitchen"

Little Johnny was playing with his train and said all you motherf*ckers who want to get off get off and all you motherf*ckers who want to get on get on his mother here's him and said is that you cussing. The mother said go to your room for 1 hour little Johnny goes to his room then little johnny comes back one hour later and said all you motherf*ckers who wanna get off get off and all you motherf*ckers who wanna get on get on and if you wanna know about the 1 hour delay go ask the b*tch in the kitchen.

I like my women how I like my fridge.

In the kitchen.

One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said "The Mail Man died".

I'm like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside

Little Johnny ran into the kitchen and asked his mother "Mom can little girls have babies " his mom answered "of course not" a few minutes later his mom heard him shout to his friend "it's okay we can keep playing

Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen. "Are those brownies, I smell?", he asks. "Indeed, they are.", he was told. "Gee", he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts."

Nobody Literally nobody Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven

I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.

you wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "a refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it"

Hey Siri, where is my dad? Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas. HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen! Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas. ...WhAT-

How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled? The wheelchair floats to the top

I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. -- What a waste of thyme.

A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”

I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up, I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"

whats black nd white nd black nd white nd black nd white nd red nd black nd white nd white nd black nd red nd red nd black nd red nd white nd black nd red nd red nd red nd red? a penguin in a blender