Kitchen Jokes

Sexism

aye
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If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it?

The man, because he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.

Sexist

Anonymous
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In chess, why does the queen have more mobility than the king?

Because the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor

Death

Big Mama Chungus
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One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said "The Mail Man died".

Minutes

Nathan Claunch
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A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”

Little Johnny

Anonymous
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Little Johnny was playing with his train and said all you motherf*ckers who want to get off get off and all you motherf*ckers who want to get on get on his mother here's him and said is that you cussing. The mother said go to your room for 1 hour little Johnny goes to his room then little johnny comes back one hour later and said all you motherf*ckers who wanna get off get off and all you motherf*ckers who wanna get on get on and if you wanna know about the 1 hour delay go ask the b*tch in the kitchen.

Wife

Anonymous
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I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry.

Onions was a good dog.

Rest

D
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Women should be allowed to leave the kitchen......to clean the rest of the house

1

Little Johnny

Ethan McGuire
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Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks " what's that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " fucking, fuck,fuck,Fuck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey.

Dark Humor

Anonymous
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Where do feminists go when they die "hell's kitchen"

Movie

Punk
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I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up, I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"

Boyfriend

Hit or miss
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I like my women how I like my fridge.

In the kitchen.

Wife

Tacmed419
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The other day my wife said "take me someplace I have never been before, I said why don't you try the kitchen! "

Little Johnny

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Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks " what's that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " fucking, fuck,fuck,Fuck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey.

Woman

Mohammed Loves The Twin Towers
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"in chess, a queen can move in more directions than the king"

I mean yea the chess board looks like kitchen floor so-

Little Johnny

Foxdeerbunny00
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Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says” alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here” his mom comes rushing in and says” little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!” After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says,” ok, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in be kitchen”

1

ADD

Anonymous
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Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen. "Are those brownies, I smell?", he asks. "Indeed, they are.", he was told. "Gee", he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts."

Store

idk
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What is the one thing wrong with Asian pet stores... There is always a kitchen in the back

3

Cheese

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How was the slice of cheese 🧀 doing in the kitchen?

Cheddar!

Little Johnny

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Little Johnny ran into the kitchen and asked his mother "Mom can little girls have babies " his mom answered "of course not" a few minutes later his mom heard him shout to his friend "it's okay we can keep playing

Daughter

imgay2
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Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when i saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month. Today i saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".

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