When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
What has more brains than a student in a school shooting, the wall behind them
what dose a orphan call a family photo a sefey
what was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?
bullets
Billy moved in with 69 pedophiles when he was 8. Many "tears" came across his cheeks.
How do pedophiles follow the law?
They drive it slow in the school zone.
Q: Why did the young boy ask his parents to take him to the Cowboys’ AT&T Stadium during the tornado warning?
A: He said, “There’s never a touchdown there.”
Fuck it, suicide is wrong, but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkour," it's a failed stunt.
Stephen Hawking is such a bad role model for our kids.
He only ever looks one way when crossing the street.
How do you stop a baby from drowning? pt. 2
-Harpoon it.
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
-Lift up your foot.
Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives. condoms 99 percent effective birth controll 99 percent effective ect just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time ( only cost 20 years in jail ;)
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun does off in its mouth
Don't drink and park. Accidents cause people.
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Ooming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling so I put a car-pit over it
What problems might a blind child run into A wall
Whats yellow and blue and found at the bottom of a pool? A baby with slashed floaties
2 hunter are walking in the forest together. Hunter #2 flops down, unconscious, and and hunter #1 dials 911. Operator: "911 what's your emergency?" Hunter no. 1: "The other hunter, hunting with me in the woods fell asleep." Operator: "Check if he's / she's (not assuming genders) dead." *Operator hears a distant gunshot* Hunter no. 1: "What do I do next?"
Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"
